You Must Control Your Emotions
by Reykenobi
Summary: A slow burn romance between Rey and Kylo Ren with lots of angst, romance, and sexual tension, plus OT references. The focus is on Reylo, but a few other characters show up here and there. I've tried to stay true to their TFA characterizations, but with the added bonus of a force bond. This is my first ever fanfic. I think it starts a little slow, but it picks up! Keep reading ;)
1. The Attack

Rey sat on the ground trying to center herself, her back against her favorite rock on the island. She breathed slowly and focused on the force flowing through her. She tried in vain to push away the pain and fear she felt clawing at the back of her mind. She remained still, and tried to focus on the things Luke had told her: about the uncertainty of the future, about how he had once tried to save his friends from pain, about how even fully trained masters can misread their visions. She turned it over in her mind again and again as she had everyday for almost a month, but the pain and fear merely grew in heart. She could hear her friends calling out to her. They were captured, being tortured, in the hands of Kylo Ren. His haunting mask stared at her day and night; she could not get him out of her mind.

The pain was too much; she couldn't ignore her friends any longer. She snapped her eyes open. She had decided what to do.

She gathered her things into her small bag, along with Luke's lightsaber. She ran up the hill to Luke, who stood, looking out over the sea.  
"You must not go, Rey." He stated, without turning to look at her. "You have not completed your training. You will be more vulnerable now than ever before."

She walked slowly up to him, turning to face him in profile. "I know, Master Luke. But I cannot ignore these visions any longer. I have to go to help my friends."

"We cannot keep having this argument, Rey. You do not know that your visions are real; it could be a trap." Luke voice lacked the concern and conviction it had had the first ten times they had had this argument. He seemed weary and frustrated; he recognized the irony that he was repeating to Rey what Yoda and Obi-Wan had said to him all those years ago. He had ignored them then, too.

"Rey, you cannot face Kylo Ren. You are not ready."

"I beat him before."

"He was severely injured, and he has almost completed his training since then."

"But I have trained, too!"

"Not enough, Rey. You still cannot control your emotions." Luke finally turned to look at her. Her sweet face was full of determination. She was no longer asking his advice or permission. He could see she had made up her mind this time. He put his hand on her arms and looked at her sadly but also proudly.

"Do not forget your training. Mind what I have taught you. Center yourself when you are frightened. Control your emotions so they cannot control you."  
Rey nodded at him seriously. He was letting her go.

"Follow the Force, it will guide you. And Rey…" he paused and looked at her with care and concern, "come back here safely."

She nodded again. She reached into her bag to hand him back his lightsaber.

"That is yours now." He said.

Far away, aboard the Finalizer, Kylo Ren could feel the shift stirring within his prey. _She has decided to leave._ He smiled darkly. _Finally._

He pressed the button on the communicator in his quarters. "General."

"Yes, Ren" Came Hux's clear voice through the computer.

"Prepare your men for a ground assault." He commanded.

"Sir?" Hux questioned. They had been instructed by Snoke to hold their location until the coordinates of the new Resistance base were discovered. Teams of his men were searching the galaxy for information on the current base, but nothing as of yet had been discovered.

Kylo Ren voice was filled with malice and conviction, "I know the location of the Resistance base. The time to strike is now."

Hux set to work, coordinating his troops and arming landing crews, but he couldn't help but wonder, how had Ren discovered the location of base so suddenly?

Rey raced to Marchett, where the resistance base was hidden. Luke's warnings and disappointment haunted her thoughts and pressed heavily against her chest. She was making a mistake, and she knew it, but she didn't care. The only thing more haunting than Luke's words were the anguished cries she heard when her mind was blank. With The Force guiding her, she hurried to Marchett, hoping she would arrive in time to save her friends.

The hyperdrive alarm chirped, and she dropped the ship out of light speed, beginning her decent to the planet's surface, and noticing a star destroyer in orbit on the opposite side of the planet. _They're already here_.

The base was located in an ancient temple, towering in a valley between two soaring mountains. As she approached, she could see a trail of smoke and within it red and green laser fire. She spotted a secluded clearing beyond the fray, and hurriedly began the landing sequence, jumping out of the cockpit before the ship had completely touched down.

She landed on one of the training fields, unnoticed by the endless First Order army that was bombarding the Resistance base. She surveyed the battle, her gut clenching as she surmised the extent of destruction. It appeared that the Resistance was losing. If they followed protocol, the evacuation would have already begun. Underground tunnels connected the temple entry at the valley side of the mountain to a hidden cargo bay on the opposite side of the mountain. These tunnels were designed to serve as an escape route during an attack.

She peered into the distance, and saw tiny lights fading into the atmosphere on the opposite side of the mountain – Resistance ships were already escaping. The evacuation had indeed begun.

Staying low and creeping through the underbrush in the valley, she snuck into the base through its side entrance, still unseen by the stormtroopers forcing their way into the front. A brave group of Resistance fighters engaged the stormtroopers at the front, distracting them from the evacuation already underway.

She ran to the command room, finding General Organa surrounded by her close advisors and other higher-ranking officers. Leia's fierce expression softened when she saw Rey.

"What are you doing here?" She said as she pulled Rey into a tight hug.

"We don't have time right now, General. What do you need? How can I help?" Rey asked. Leia looked hard at Rey, taking her in. Rey wore long white leggings under a pure white sleeveless tunic, synched tightly at her waist with a thin brown leather belt. She still resembled the scavenger from Jakku, but the Padawan before Leia was polished and elegant, her tattered rags exchanged for crisp, clean garments, both neatly tailored and gracefully flowing. She had grown up while she was away.

"We have evacuated more than half of the base, including equipment, but it won't be long before the First Order gets in through our front. We need to hold the them back once they have entered the base in order to ensure the evacuation of as many remaining personnel as possible." Leia voice was strong and clear.

Leia's communicator broke through, relaying the screaming voice of Poe, "They've broken the north ranks, General. We're losing men up here. Clear the command room. They will break through us soon."

Leia and Rey's eyes met. Leia raised her communicator to her lips, "Pull your troops out and get to your transport, Black Leader. We're going to detonate the south passages."

"Yes m'am." Poe answered.

An officer behind them executed the command and the entire room shook violently. "The South passages have been successfully collapsed m'am." He furrowed his brow, "No, all but passage 4, which is only partially caved in."

"It'll do." She nodded. "Give the order for full evacuation. And get to your transports."

Rey sternly nodded to Leia, and turned to head to the north passage, pulling out her lightsaber and preparing herself for battle. She needed to help Poe and his men escape, and provide Leia and the rest of the base the time they needed to complete the evacuation. She continued to run and found herself in the cargo bay. She looked around the corner stealthily, and saw stormtroopers already taking Poe and Finn captive. To her horror, she realized rest of the resistance fighters had been killed.

 _Why would they capture Poe and Finn, and not kill them like the_ rest? She wondered, but then her stomach fell. _They_ _must have been the primary target,_ she thought. _They are trying to bait me. It was a trap, just as Master Luke had suspected._ She stopped and tried to center herself as Luke had taught her. _Be_ _calm_ , she thought, _Be at peace_. She drew a long breath, and her eyes snapped open. _Nope_.

Her anger and fear flared and she rush directly into the fray. There were more than two-dozen men taking Poe and Finn away, and nearly six dozen more flowing out of newly arrived ships in the distance. She easily cut through the troopers closest to her, her force powers flexing fully for the first time. She force pushed seven men into the stone wall of the cargo bay, and sliced her saber through another three. One trooper shot at her, but she stopped the laser in its tracks, releasing it only when another trooper stood in its path.

Before Poe and Finn could realize what was happening, she had cut lose their bindings.

"We have to stop these troops from taking the north passage in order to give the General the time she needs to evacuate!" She shouted to them, turning on her heels and running back in the direction from which she came. Poe and Finn grabbed guns from the hostlers of fallen troopers and followed after her. As they get to the entrance, she faltered, falling behind momentarily. _Leia,_ she thought suddenly.

She could sense that Leia was in danger, or would be soon. It was hard for her to discern. She looked back out to the hanger, and clenched her jaw. Newly arrived, was an Upsilon class shuttle that could only mean that Kylo Ren was here. He must have arrived only moments after she did, for her to have missed him. _South Passage_ 4, she thought, unsure from where the thought had come.

She shook her head and ran after her friends. They ran down the North passage, taking down stormtroopers as they went, but more were now following behind them. They ducked into a bend in the passage, and used it to provide them cover.

"All fighters to their transports. The last ships are leaving in fourteen minutes." A computerized woman's voice yelled over the loudspeakers. Finn, Poe and Rey looked at each other.

"You two go. I have my own ship here. I can collapse this passage on my way out, and the rest of the troopers will not be able to get through."

They hesitated, but then nodded.

"We will catch up properly at the rendezvous." Finn said, warmly. Poe winked at her. Rey smiled back at them, realizing how desperately happy she was to see them again, safe and healthy.

"I can't wait. Now get going." She said, her expression warm and caring.

They turned and ran back to the command center. Rey focused her mind and body on the walls of the passage, using The Force to help her destroy them. She held her hand outstretched beside her, fingers curling slowly into a fist as she pulled the walls inward upon themselves. The walls began to collapse around her, she turned and ran back to the command center. It was now empty.

Rey's thoughts were heavy and confused. She felt a strong force tugging at her to turn to the south. She closed her eyes, trying again to center herself. _Leia_. She was certain this time: Leia was in danger. She ran down the deserted south passage. She picked up her speed as she ran, a growing sense of urgency propelling her forward.

A voice echoed down the corridor, "Ben, please."

Rey's felt her body go cold. Leia's voice was breaking; she sounded nothing like the strong leader that Rey knew. Rey was flooded with Leia's emotions: joy, misery, hope. Rey ran as fast and she could.

"What more can I do to show you that Ben is dead?" said the metallic voice of Kylo Ren. "There is no more light in me."

"I will never believe that," Leia's voice was stronger now, "You are my son."

Rey was overwhelmed with new emotions: rage, frustration, and despair. She sensed that these new emotions were coming from Kylo.

She turned the corner in time to see Kylo ignite his red saber and move swiftly and violently towards his mother, who made no effort to run from her child.

Rey sprinted into the space, jumped over a giant fallen computer tower, and leapt in front of Leia, using the force to push the older woman aside to safety.

Kylo's blow landed directly on Rey's shoulder, cutting deeply into her and burning her skin. She had expected that the force of his attack would have killed her, but Kylo had pulled his arm back at the last second so the blow was shallow than she anticipated.

"Go, Leia. Get out of here. I've got this." Rey screamed as she tried to scramble to her feet. Leia watched in anguish as Rey pulled her right arm to her body, and attempted to hold her saber with only her left. Leia hesitated, desperate to intervene to help Rey and to try again to save her son.

"Go!" Rey repeated. Leia finally turned and ran from the room, defeat and sorrow darkening her face.

Kylo Ren watched Leia leave, but kept his focus on Rey. He remained still, watching as Rey attempted to move away from him, still keeping herself between him and Leia's exit. She was losing blood as she moved. He watched as the white fabric on her right arm became stained redder and redder. She was unsteady on her feet, and he saw her clench her jaw against the pain.

Rey backed into the fallen computer tower, nearly losing her footing and sending blinding waves of pain down her arm. She held her saber up defensively, but her strength was failing.

He turned off his saber and stored on his belt. He moved toward her, towering over her in the cramped space. She raised her weapon, but her arm shook violently. When he was close enough to touch her, he effortlessly disarmed her and stored her saber on his belt next to his own. She looked up at him, wide-eyed and defiant, trying to push him away from her with what little strength she had left.

He bent down to scoop her up, careful to place her so that her injured arm would sit protected against his chest. She had no strength left to fight and could barely keep her eyes open. Her world began to spin.

He carried her out the half-collapsed south passage directly to the cargo bay, where his ship is the last First Order vessel waiting on the tarmac.


	2. The Medic

The ship's cockpit was a tiny room. With Rey in his arms, Kylo Ren used his elbow to press a button against the back wall that slid a medical cot from the wall and placed her carefully upon it. He then turned his back and entered coordinates into the navi-computer.

Staring at the back of his head, Rey threw a thousand hateful murderous thoughts at him, but she could not move more than an inch in any direction without being crippled in pain. She could see that he was using a standby code that would send them to orbit a planet in the outer rim. She didn't know of any First Order bases that far out.

The ship began moving, and he turned his attention back to her. He removed his helmet and gloves, and looked carefully at her wound. His face came in and out of focus, but Rey could sense that he was avoiding her gaze. She studied him, as he focused seriously on her shoulder.

He pushed a few more buttons, and a rag with a bowl of batca water appeared beside her. He pulled a lever at the base of the medical bed, which moved her into a half-reclining position. He reached for her shoulder and began to pull the fabric of her tunic down off her shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing!?" She growled, trying to pull herself away from him, causing surging pain to course through her entire body. She gasped and immediately regretted moving.

He pulled his hands away from her. "You've lost too much blood. Batca will not heal you in time. I need to give you stiches."

She looked defiantly into his face, and he returned her gaze. His eyes were intense. For just a moment, she could see a flash of worry cross his face, before he returned to his stoic and stern expression.

"Why would I trust you to stitch me up?" She demanded angrily.

He had already returned to his work, carefully pulling her tunic from from her shoulder and down her arm. "Who else is going to do it?" He said quietly, with the smallest smirk.

She noticed that he carefully maneuvered her tunic down, ensuring that some of the fabric still covered her chest so that only her shoulder and upper arm were exposed. His movements were precise. Despite their close proximity, she also noticed that he was avoiding touching her skin.

He washed her wound with bacta, and reached into a med kit for a stitching laser. He moved even closer to her, leaning into her so that their faces were nearly inches apart. He focused on his work and moved the stitching laser slowly over her wound, starting at the top of her shoulder.

As the machine did it's work, she felt it cooling the burning fire in her arm. She closed her eyes in relief and breathed deeply. For a moment, she watched his stern face, inches from hers, as he focused on healing her injury. His dark eyes and heavy brows clearly showed the signs of worry. She looked at his lips, inches from her own and her stomach did a small flip. Just at that moment he looked up at her, and she looked away. She felt dizzy.

When he had finished stitching her wound, he grabbed a med scanner to check her vitals, waving it over her shoulder. "Dammit" he muttered.

She looked at the scanner too – the screen indicated that she was still bleeding internally. She thought for a moment, and realized that in the last few minutes, she had lost the feeling in her legs.

Suddenly he turned to make eye contact with her, "You couldn't have mentioned that earlier?!" he demanded, digging frantically through the med kits.

"Get out of my head." She yelled, but what came out was just barely a whisper.

He stopped digging and looked at her; his face awash with worry. He could not find what he was that he was looking for in the med kit. She could feel conflict within him. He hesitated, intensely debating with himself what to do next. She gazed up at him, as he looked down at her, deliberating. The room started to spin, and she shifted slightly, her hand brushing lightly against his. He pulled his hand back, surprised by the contact, and then pursed his lips in determination.

The decision made, he moved back to her, and placed his hand directly on her wound. The contact was electrifying, and she could feel the force rushing through her entire body. Kylo Ren closed his eyes, breathing deeply and furrowing his brow in concentration. She closed her eyes too, feeling his force power mingling with her own. He was healing her, she realized. Force Healing was a powerful Jedi tool. She didn't think it could be used by a Sith.

They remained connected, their force energies merging. Rey felt her strength growing and her pain leaving her. After several moments, he stepped back suddenly, and tore his hand away from her.

She could feel her legs again. She turned on the medical bed so that her legs could hang off the edge. She slid off the bed and moved towards him. She could sense conflict within him again; he was hanging back from her. He was wary. He had washed his hands with a rag, and continued to turn it over in his hands distractedly.

"Thank you." She said simply. He looked at her uncomfortably and said nothing, throwing the rag onto the medical cot. "Course, you did cause my injury, so..." She trailed off but continued to look into his face, trying to read him.

He was violently attempting to barricade his mind from her. She wondered why. She wondered why he had healed her, why he had seemed so worried.

She tried to tap into the hatred she had felt towards him earlier, but found that her emotions were now conflicted. She could still feel his force powers, working through her damaged body.

"Why did you heal me?" She asked, finally. His face was as stoic as his mask. His gaze was deep and intense, but he continued to keep his distance from her.

"I must take you to my Master." He said impassively, but he made no move to the ship's controls. She could sense something aching within him.

"Snoke sent me those vision of my friends?" She asked.

"No." Kylo remained still. "I did."

She pursed her lips. It was a trap, just as Luke had suspected.

"I won't survive an encounter with Snoke." Rey said, firmly. "I will not join him, and I am not yet ready to face him."

Kylo said nothing. He balled the hand he had used to heal Rey into a tight fist. "Then you will die." He said finally, but his voice wavered slightly.

Rey stepped towards him, sensing his discomfort. "Kylo..." but he recoiled. She took a deep breath; he was her only hope of escape. "Don't bring me to Snoke." Her voice was quiet and pleading. She stepped toward him again and reached out to touch his arm.

He remained in place, glancing down at her hand on his arm. "Are you trying to give _me_ a command?" He asked, his voice filled with spite and venom.

She looked up into his face, and took another small step toward him, closing the gap between them so that her chest nearly touched his. "No." She tilted her chin up, so she was inches from his face. "I am asking you to help me."

His large frame loomed over her, and he held her gaze, tilting his head slightly. She could feel a torrent of emotions within him; anger, confusion, compassion, guilt. His gaze fell from her eyes, to her lips, and then to her bare shoulder, following the way her tunic loosely fell down her arm. She shivered, her stomach tightening, and her heart racing. She felt heat creeping up her body.

He shook his head as though he was waking from a trance. He looked back to her face, but his expression had changed to anger. He clenched his fist and scowled.

"You are asking me to disobey my orders, to give in to the light. I won't do it!" He pushed himself against her, pulling braces from his belt and locking them around her wrists. He furiously pushed her into a chair, and locked the braces, before moving to the pilot's seat and entering new coordinates.

"Please, don't!" She begged, pulling at the braces around her wrists. His rage swelled further. He roughly grabbed the arms of her chair, and pushed into her space, looming over her threateningly and staring hatefully into her eyes.

"You will join us, or die, Scavenger. It makes no difference to me." His deep voice was filled with hatred and anger. Rey shivered again, but her body was cold and empty.


	3. Snoke

Kylo pushed Rey forward before Snoke, holding her handcuffed hands to her back, and proudly presenting her as a prize to his Master.

"Good." Snoke bellowed, his twisted face contorting into a wicked smile. "Well done, Kylo Ren." Kylo nodded and Rey pushed against his hold.

"Welcome, scavenger." Snoke continued.

She shuddered. She thought of Luke. She pictured his face, as someone – probably Leia – delivered the news that yet again his padawan had fallen to Snoke.

"I will never join you." She said quietly, but firmly.

"Yes. Yes. The bravery of the Jedi, I know it well. The man standing next to you once said that too. Now look at him – more powerful than you could possibly imagine, thanks to the dark side of the force!" He growled as he spoke. She felt Kylo shift behind her.

"I am not like Ben Solo." She stated, her voice still quiet but strong.

Kylo Ren flinched upon hearing his given name, and tightened the grip on her handcuffs roughly, hurting her wrists.

"Ben Solo is dead." He hissed angrily into her ear, but as he said it, she sensed conflict within him.

"You will join us, Rey." Snoke spoke softly now as well. "Or, you will die."

"Then I will die." She said simply. She controlled her fears and calmed her mind.

"What a waste that would be, Rey. There are so few left who can wield the force, even fewer who have innately mastered their gifts. The two most natural force-users I have seen are both standing before me. You could learn from Kylo Ren; he could help you grow. Don't throw your life away."

She felt Snoke sneaking into the corners of her mind, searching for weaknesses, for secrets. She pushed him away violently.

"Do not resist, scavenger." He raised his hand and began to force his way into her mind, tearing away her defenses and pouring into her consciousness.

She dropped to her knees, her handcuffs pulling away from Kylo's grasp. He let her fall. Rey's pain was overwhelming her; Snoke was now ripping through her mind. She gasped and tried to push him out, but she felt like she was drowning. Kylo shifted behind her, looking away.

"Ah, it was easy for you to leave your training," Snoke seethed, "because you doubt yourself. You don't think you could ever truly be a Jedi Master."

He dug deeper, lifting her into the air, and dangling her from her neck. Kylo stood next to her, watching her feet kick as she hovered above the floor. Rey gasped again, trying desperately to get enough air, while focusing her remaining energy on repelling Snoke.

"Deep down, you think that it was your fault that your family abandoned you. Your whole life everyone has left you. You know your Resistance friends will leave you soon enough as well." Her defenses began to crumble. Snoke was right, she did fear that her friends would leave her, _why wouldn't they?_

Again Kylo Ren shifted uneasily next to her. She was overwhelmed with her pain and sorrow, yet she could feel his extreme emotions flooding her mind; doubt, regret, indecision. She reached for him, _Please Kylo._ she begged.

 _There is nothing I can do for you,_ He responded in her mind, but his voice wavered with uncertainty. She felt his regret wash over her, and it gave her strength.

 _Please, it is not too late._ He looked into her eyes, witnessing her agony. Rey felt his stomach turn at the sight, and felt resolve grow within him. He turned to Snoke with determination.

Snoke spoke again, quiet and menacing. "You are carrying a secret, Rey." Her stomach clenched. _No_.

"Get out of my head!" she gasped, her throat raw and swollen. Kylo Ren glared at Snoke.

She focused her energy on him. _Please_. She begged. _Please, Kylo, I need you._ He balled his hand into a fist as he had done on the shuttle. She felt his strength and power grow, fueled by his anger.

Snoke continued to dig, ripping apart her mind. "You are hiding this secret, not from me, but from… _Kylo Ren_." He bellowed, and the room froze.

None of them moved for several long moments. Kylo broke the stillness in turning to face her. He looked back at his Master.

"What secret?" he asked. She tugged at his mind, begging him to ignore Snoke, but he was blocking her.

Snoke released her, dropping her to the ground. She staggered for breath on her hands and knees.

"The secret of her lineage." Snoke spoke quietly and clearly, savoring every word.

Kylo looked down at her, kneeling in a heap at his feet, and then back at Snoke, "Her lineage?" He asked.

"Yes…" Snoke hissed. "Yes her awful secret."

Rey tried to get up, struggling in vain to pull her feet underneath her. "My lineage doesn't matter," she tried to explain, but her voice was weak and small. _It doesn't matter,_ she tried to tell him.

Kylo waited, staring at Snoke. "You see, Kylo Ren. Rey is the granddaughter of Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Rey stood up, looking at Ren in his dark mask. She didn't need to see his face to feel his violent rage swelling.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" He stepped forcefully towards Rey, who stumbled back. She couldn't understand his anger. The hatred flowing from him was vitriolic.

"The man who betrayed my grandfather?!" He screamed at Rey, igniting his lightsaber. She rushed back from him. "The man who murdered my grandmother!?"

"What? No!" She tried to force push him back, slowing his pace.

"Padme's death is what turned Anakin to the dark side. All because Obi-Wan wanted her for himself."

"What? No!" she repeated. "That's not what happened!" She continued to flee from him, his violent and malicious rage suffocating her.

Kylo began to slash his saber at her. She ducked and weaved, running desperately away from him.

"Obi-Wan was jealous when he discovered that Padme loved Anakin. When he realized she was carrying Anakin's child, his jealously overcame him and murdered her!" Kylo screamed and slashed, chasing after her with all his strength. She saw a glint of silver in the corner of her eye – her saber. She called it to her and it flew into her hand just in time to deflect Kylo's blow.

"Good." She heard Snoke laugh. "Very good."

Kylo pushed down on her with all his strength, fueled by his hatred and anger.

"You have the story all wrong Kylo." She said quietly, "Obi-Wan loved your grandfather. Snoke has lied to you."

"YOU'RE THE LIAR!" He screamed, releasing his arm to swing at her again. She jumped and rolled out of his path and ran towards the door. He threw his saber, narrowly missing her, and recalled it to his hand. She turned and faced him, turning off her weapon. He stopped, standing to watch her next move.

She tugged again at his mind, _This is wrong._ But he forcefully rejected her from his consciousness.

"I won't fight you, Kylo." She said quietly. "It's not right."

"This is in our blood. For generations our families have fought and murdered each other. Now I will finish it."

"No. Our families have loved each other. Obi-Wan and Anakin were like brothers. It was Anakin who..."

"LIES!" he screamed chasing after her again.

She ran to the door, frantically trying to open it before he reached her. She took her saber and slashed the panel, which released the door and she ran through with Kylo closely following.

She ran desperately looking for a hanger. Her only hope of survival was to escape before Kylo could find her. His rage was explosive. She doubted she could handle another onslaught like the last.

She turned the corner and saw a cargo bay filled with ships. _This is my only chance._

Rey rushed into the bay, and saw an unguarded Tibereon class freighter. It would suffice; she had to get away. There were a few stormtroopers scattered about the bay. She used the force to distract the closest group, and quietly knocked them out without being detected.

When there were few enough left that she was certain she could take them all on, she ignited her saber and slashed through them in quick quiet movements.

She ran over to the nearest ship. The entry was recessed into the side of he ship several feet, allowing her to hide from view as she worked to hotwire the doors. She could still sense Kylo's rage, but at a distanced. She hoped desperately that distance would give her enough time to escape.

She found a small control panel to the left of the entry door and opened it, revealing an intricate network of wires. She focused carefully on her work, splicing the wires and re-coding the operating system until finally the door to the ship opened.

Suddenly, strong hands pushed her against the opposite wall, forcing her to turn to face her attacker. Kylo held his saber against her throat and had his hand pushed against her waist, holding her in place with her back against the wall. His face was full of rage. He used the force to keep her hands behind her back, and was overrun with emotion that she doubted she could overpower him.

He stared down at her, breathing heavily. He said nothing.

She breathed slowly and returned his furious gaze. Their silent tension was suffocating. She waited for his final blow to land. She was clam, and at peace. She was ready for death. She breathed deeply, but nothing came. She opened her eyes and realized he was trying desperately to gather the strength to kill her, but was faltering.

His face was lit by his saber, inches from her throat, but also inches from his own. They were so close that their legs were intertwined.

Though his hateful expression did not change, she saw him look down at her lips and her stomach did a small turn. He couldn't do it.

"Come with me." She said quietly, before she could even think about what she was saying.

He said nothing, and his violent expression remained unchanged.

"Snoke lied to you about our grandparents, and who knows about what else-"

"YOU lied." Kylo cut her off. He pushed the saber closer to her throat.

"No." She cried. "I'm telling you the truth. Obi-Wan loved Anakin, loved him like his own flesh and blood. He would have died for Anakin-"

"Then why keep your relation to him secret from me." He asked menacingly.

She hesitated, but knew she could not lie to him again. "I hid it… because it meant that there was connection between you and me. Ever since I met you, there have been forces pulling us together, and I didn't want to acknowledge yet another example of that pull. "

Kylo slowed, and his rage lessened.

His reaction gave her hope, so she continued on, "Snoke is using you. You must see it. Please, come with me. I don't care about the First Order, or the Resistance. I don't even care about the light or the dark or Snoke or Luke, or any of it. I will walk away from all it, if you will come with me." Though the words tumbled from her lips almost before she was conscious of them, they were all true. She couldn't explain it, but she didn't want to fight him anymore.

His expression changed. His rage slowly left him and he stared sternly down at her, internalizing her proposal, turning it over in his head.

In one fluid motion, he turned off his saber and holstered it. With his weapon no longer separating them, the two became suddenly aware of how close they were to each other. He tilted his head slightly, looking again at her mouth. Rey was now deeply aware of his large hand on her waist, still pushing her against the wall of the ship. She tilted her chin up to him, looking deeply into his handsome face. He reached up to her face, cupping her chin in his large hand. He lightly stroked her cheek with his thumb. She shuddered at the tenderness of his touch.

"Go." He dropped his hands and pulled slightly back from her to give her enough room to move. His dark expression was awash with sadness and despair. She remained in place for a moment, studying him, trying to will him to change his mind. _Go._ He lightly brushed her mind with his.

Finally, she turned and ran into the ship.


	4. Rey's Mission

Rey and her team disembarked from their shuttle. Rey looked around Nima Outpost and felt out of place in her own skin. She knew she was not the same girl she had been when she stole the Falcon over a year ago, yet standing here again made her old memories flood back. Long-lost emotions washed over her; the hunger, the tedium, the loneliness. She tried to shake these feelings, reminding herself that she was a Jedi now.

 _Well sort of._ Though she had returned to Luke after escaping Kylo Ren, it was only a short while before he pieced together everything that had happened while she was gone. She had tried to hide it all from Luke, she had tried to lie, but he could see what had happened as clearly as if he had been there watching it all before him. They had tried to continue with her training, but her confusion and conflict became so distracting that she began to lose ground. Her skills were becoming less focused and she was losing control over her power.

After a particularly disastrous session, Luke suggested that she take a break, clear her head, and return to him when she was truly ready to complete her training. It was humiliating.

Rey was grateful when General Organa presented her with this mission, even if it did bring her back to her home planet, if only because it distracted her from her failures in training.

Her team scanned the area.

"Poe said his point of contact lives in the third northern-most neighborhood, which would be…" the ensign consulted his equipment, "this way."

Rey didn't need to look at a map to know exactly where he was talking about. Poe's point of contact lived five buildings down from Unkar Plutt's shop. She shifted anxiously at the prospect of seeing it again.

The team packed up their things and began heading towards the town. She tightened her grip on her lightsaber, tucked in her belt, and then followed. As they got closer to town, the nagging feeling of loneliness continued to grow in her heart - it was suffocating. She searched her feelings. Was it just the memories of being back in this place? _No_.

As she and her team approached the town, she dug deeper into her own mind. _This is someone else's loneliness_ , she realized. _It's him._

She realized that she must be sensing Kylo Ren's feelings, though she could also sense he was trying to hide himself. _Not well enough_. He must be very close to be to sending out such strong emotions.

This complicated things. If he saw her Resistance fighters on the planet, he might discover their mission. She pulled aside Lieutenant Antilles, her right-hand man, and slowed their pace so that they walked a few meters behind the group.

"Trante," she whispered, "Kylo Ren is here." He raised an eyebrow, but his face was otherwise calm.

"Not good." He said quietly.

"No." She agreed.

"He can't know about the plans." Trante stated, but his tone lacked conviction. Rey considered. As far as they could tell, Poe's reconnaissance team had not been detected, and his contact on Jakku was supposedly absolutely loyal. Only Rey and Trante knew what they were on this planet to retrieve. The mission had been completely secret, even from most of the Resistance.

"No. There is no way he could know about this. I think you should lead the team to Poe's contact, and collect the plans. I will try to head-off Ren myself, and keep him away from the team."

Trante looked displeased with this plan, but said nothing. Rey sensed his discomfort.

"Do you have a better suggestion?" She asked sincerely. He pondered, but had nothing. "No. You are right. Be safe." He saluted her and ran to catch up with the team, heading north.

Rey's senses tingled. She paused to catch her breath and to determine what her next action should be. She closed her eyes and focused. She could sense him more clearly; he was heading south. She opened her eyes and ran in his direction. The streets were meandering and tight, but she knew them well and caught up to him quickly.

Hanging back slightly, she watched him walking through the town. He looked exactly as he had when she first saw him in the woods in Takadoma, dressed all in black, wearing his menacing black helmet. The crowds separated around him, people scattering to get away. His long strides carried him quickly away.

Rey left her hiding spot to continue following him. He turned down a deserted street, and she spotted a small metal storage container ahead on his left.

She took after him at a run, crashing into him and pushing him into the storage unit and closing the door. The tiny room was barely a meter square.

He instinctively reached for her throat, attempting to choke to her, but when he realized it was her, he dropped his hand, and silently looked down at her. She reached up and quickly pulled his mask off.

"Hey." He yelled angrily, pushing her away, "Don't-" he yelled threateningly. But she could feel his anger dissipating away as they remained still.

"What are you doing here?" He asked finally, his voice calmer.

"I needed parts for the Falcon" She lied instantly. His expression twitched slightly at the mention of his father's ship, but then quickly returned to its stoic appearance. In her haste to invent a believable lie, she had forgotten to be careful of his connection to her vehicle.

"What are you doing here?" She quickly tried to his divert attention.

He looked at her gravely for a moment, then said, "I can't tell you." She nodded, and they stood in silence for a moment.

"Does Snoke know about what happened on the Finalizer?" She asked, concerned.

"Do you think I would still be here if he did?" He smirked, ever so slightly. "No, Snoke does not know." He added, and she nodded.

He looked away from her for a moment, then stiffly asked, "Does my uncle know?" He avoided her gaze.

"Yes." She said firmly, not wanting to lie to him again. She could see his stern face grow more grave at this admission. "I'm sorry." She said sincerely, "I tried to hide it from him, I really did. But he could read me like a book, and saw everything."

He looked back at her, "You must learn to _control_ your emotions." He said angrily.

She scowled. "That's rich, coming from you." She spat back at him.

"I am a Sith. We embrace our emotions and use them to give us strength. You, however, are a Jedi. You must learn to control your emotions, to center yourself, and hide your feelings away." His tone was genuine, and non-combative. He was not picking a fight.

She remained silent for a moment, and then looked at the ground. "I don't know what I am anymore," she admitted sadly.

He remained still for a long moment, and then he put his hand on her arm and gave it a small squeeze. He quietly said, "You are a Jedi. Nothing will change that." To her surprise, his voice sounded as though he were full of sadness, but she nodded.

"Thanks," she said, weakly. They fell into uncomfortable silence again. She knew she should fear him, or hate him, despite whatever truce they had forged, but she felt no hatred or fear. She felt sad, curious and guilty. "Look, about our grandparents, what Snoke told you-" she began.

"I don't want to talk about that." He stated curtly. He sighed deeply. "I have to go." He turned to leave, grabbing his mask back from her hands. With his back to her he paused, and quietly added, "I am glad to see you are alright."

As he headed for the door, she reached out for his arm. He turned and faced down at her. She looked up at him and said, "May The Force be with you." She felt his resolve break slightly.

His face remained unchanged, but he leaned down, his face closer to hers than it had ever been. He maintained eye contact with her, until he lightly kissed her cheek. "May the force be with you, Rey," he whispered into her ear. He immediately turned away and put on his mask, leaving Rey alone in the storage container.

She stood still for a long moment, and then slammed her fist against the wall. She focused on her breathing, trying to center herself, but her heart was pounding against her chest and her thoughts were cloudy. _What am I doing?_ Suddenly her communicator buzzed, breaking her from her reverie.

"Rey. We have a problem." Trante's worried voice called out.

"What's wrong?"

"Ren got here first. He took the plans."

Rey dropped he communicator and ran at full speed back into the street, trying to chase Kylo down. She dodged merchants, and hurtled over carts and boxes, running as fast as she could. She sprinted until she reached the end of the street, coming to a sudden halt, as she reached the edge of a dust cloud and watched the red lights of his Upsilon shuttle as it took off.

"Damn."


	5. Ren's Answer

"Major General Kenobi, there is a Tibereon class shuttle requesting permission to land." A young ensign called from the command room, through the communicator in Rey's quarters.

"Tibereon?" She asked. "Is he lost?" It was a First Order shuttle.

The ensign laughed. "That's what we thought, but he is clearly Resistance. He has our entry codes, and he asked for you by name. He said he is returning from a secret mission that you would know about."

 _Secret Mission?_ She contemplated. Poe should be returning today from another recon pass over Starkiller 2, but there is no reason why he would be flying a Tibereon, or why he wouldn't merely identify himself.

"Did this fighter give you a name?" Rey asked.

"Yes Major General, he said his name is Commander Kyle Benjamin." _Kyle Benjamin?_ She paused suddenly. _It's him._

"Should I give him clearance?" The ensign asked.

Rey could feel him tugging at the edges of her mind. She had ben blocking him entirely since their encounter on Jakku, but his proximity made it harder for her to push him away. She tried to center herself, to let the force guide her, but she was a cacophony of emotions, and they were blinding her.

"Yes, clear the east platform and let him land there." Ray said, finally.

"Yes Major General" The ensign responded.

Rey stood in her quarters for a moment, trying again to remain calm, to _control_ her emotions. Since their conversation on Jakku, she now heard Kylo's voice in her head whenever she repeated that mantra to herself. She grimaced at the memory.

Everything her room was bright white, the walls and floors and ceilings. Her small bed was neatly covered in white linens. She usually found the space calming. She appreciated the stark contrast between where she lived now and the dirty wreck she had called home on Jakku. It was a symbol of how much she had grown. She stared down her reflection - _you can do this, Rey -_ but her expressive face betrayed the truth. She was afraid.

She had barely slept since her failure on Jakku. Rey was certain that Ren's theft of the plans was entirely her fault, that through their connection she had betrayed the Resistance and herself. She was tormented by guilt about what had happened, but even more so by the lies she had told General Organa.

 _Focus_ , she scolded herself. _Now is not the time to run through that again._ She tugged her dress. It was synched at her waist by her thick brown leather belt, which held her saber. Her arms were bare, as the climate on Eyrs was significantly hotter than that of Marchett. The dress went to just below her knees, below which she wore brown leather boots. She took a deep breath - _I am ready for this._

Slowly, she began to center herself, to regain peace and serenity. _I am stronger than him,_ she thought. _I am not weak._ Her determined face stared back at her in the mirror. _I can do this._ She took one last long breath, and turned for the door.

The east platform was the nearest to her quarters. By the time she got there, the bay was empty of Resistance personnel, and the Tibereon shuttle was completing its landing sequence. Jets of grey smoke billowed from under the landing gear, and a large ramp descended from the ships body.

Kylo Ren walked out of the ship. He wore no mask, or cape, just plain black clothes. Dressed as we was, he hardly looked like a Sith, and it made Rey shift uncomfortably.

She approached him quickly, her dress flowing as she moved. She saw something flash briefly across his face as he saw her, before he returned to his usual serious expression.

She approached the ship but kept her distance from him, "Is this a trap?" She asked sternly. She glared at him coldly and aggressively blocked him from her thoughts.

He looked at her intensely, sensing her anger and distrust. "No." he stated.

 _Truth,_ she determined.

"Are you alone?" She demanded. He continued to tug at her mind, asking her to let him in, but she pushed him away forcefully.

He remained in place, standing at the bottom of the landing ramp and respecting the distance she had put between them. "Yes." He looked pleadingly at her. "Please, Rey I am just here to talk."

 _Truth again._

"Fine," She moved towards him, and his face relaxed. He began to reach for her, but she swiftly shoved a blaster against his ribs, and curtly demanded, "Follow me."

"Dammit, Rey" he began to protest, but she dug the blaster deeper into his side.

"Follow me. You will say nothing and if we pass anyone in the halls you will behave naturally."

He scowled, but nodded and followed her in gloomy silence.

She guided him through the corridors to her quarters hiding the gun from sight whenever they passed another person in the hall.

Finally they turned a corner and she pushed him roughly into her room, turning on him and pointing the gun at his chest.

"What the hell are you doing here, Ren?" she demanded hatefully, pointing the blaster at him and glaring at him.

He became momentarily distracted at the realization that she had brought him to her own quarters. He looked at the meager display of personal items she had lined up on her desk: a tin cup, a small leather satchel with the Alliance Starbird sewn in, a worn set of playing cards, a hairbrush. He looked at her neat little bed, tidily covered light linen covers. He felt a tug in his stomach; emotions that he had long ago abandoned began to push into his consciousness. He looked back at her, her untrusting eyes focused venomously at him.

He looked sadly into her stern face, and took a deep breath. "I am here to accept your proposal." His words hung in the air for a moment, "…from when I let you escape from the Finalizer." He could not fully meet her gaze, so he looked at the gun instead.

She remained still.

"My proposal?"

"To walk away. To leave this fight, and let the Resistance and the First Order sort it out themselves." He voice was calm, but it took all of his strength to control his torrent of emotions.

"Why?" She asked him curtly. Her heart began to race. She worked to keep her face impassive but her anger was threatening to boil over.

"Why?" He repeated her question. "Because I want…" but he could not finish the sentence.

"Tell me: why _now_?" Her voice rose and she took a step toward him, still pointing her gun at his heart. She could no longer control her anger and she began to yell, "You _stole_ the Starkiller 2 plans right out from under me less than a week ago! The only way for you to have known about those plans is for you to have forced yourself into my mind, violating our connection and betraying my trust and now you want to run away?" Her voice shook with rage and her face twisted angrily.

"You said you were on Jakku for spare parts," he stated quietly, suppressing the tiniest of smirks.

"I LIED!" She shouted, unable to control her emotions. "I lied to you just as you lied to me! You broke into my mind. You took the information about our informant. You betrayed - "

He cut her off, "I have _never_ lied to you, Rey! And I'm not lying now. I am sorry about the plans to Starkiller 2. I shouldn't have used our connection like that, but swear to you, I am here now to convince you to leave this base with me and that is the truth." His voice was filled sincerity, but also concern. He was looking at her in a way he never had done before: he looked desperate. She searched his emotions. She could tell he was telling the truth, but also that he was holding back, keeping something secret. He was actively blocking her.

 _Concealment,_ she could sense it. "You're not telling me the whole truth." She stepped back from him. She reached into the corners of his mind, looking to discover the truth.

"Get out of my head Rey." He stated, his tone incredibly menacing.

"I'm not going anywhere with you unless you tell me the truth." She stated firmly, but she also lowered her gun slightly.

"Rey, I can't tell you everything right now. But… I can tell you that you are in danger, and… and that I am here in order to protect you. This is against every order I have been given, against my Sith training, against everything I stand for, but I am here…" he hesitated, "for _you_."

Her stomach fluttered. She could sense that his words were true, and she lowered the gun further, so that it pointed lamely at the floor between them. She began to wonder if she should trust him. She dug into herself, searching for The Force to guide her, but her emotions were swilling riotously and she could not sense what was the right path. Deep her in gut, she had a nagging sense that something was very wrong.

She stepped towards him, turning her head slightly and looking deeply into his eyes, searching out the truth. He looked deeply back at her, and her heart began to race and her stomach fluttered again. She began to study his features, his dark eyes, his strong jaw, his full lips. He stared back. Their connection deepened, _She will never forgive me for this,_ she heard him think.

She stepped back again, and raised her gun.

"No." She lightly force pushed him away to give herself space. "You're lying. I don't know what about, but I'm not leaving here with you unless you tell me."

He looked at her miserably, "Please, Rey. I can't tell you-"

"Then you will have to leave without me," She moved towards the door, when he abruptly pushed her back. He was careful to not crowd her, but he stood so that he could prevent her leaving the room.

"I could force you to come with me." He stated, darkly.

"You _really_ couldn't," She glared into his eyes, daring him to try.

He sighed, and stepped back from her. "No." He stated sadly, "And I wouldn't, Rey." Again, she sensed that he was not lying.

"We're at a impasse, Ren." She moved to the door, "You should just go."

He expression was one of utter devastation, but he nodded and walked with her out to the corridor. She kept her gun holstered this time and they walked side by side to his ship. She glanced up at him, noting the lines of worry and sadness on his face.

"I guess this is it, Rey," He said at the foot of the ramp to his ship. His gaze implored her to reconsider.

"That's right." She nodded. The two stared at each other a moment longer. Ren opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly laser shots fired from behind them. Kylo jumped in front of Rey, as she pulled out her gun to return fire.

"Get away from him Rey!" Poe and a group of resistance fighters ran from the back of the bay shooting at Kylo and his ship. "That's Kylo Ren. Starkiller 2 is operational! We gotta get out of here, NOW!" Poe yelled in desperation. Kylo waved his hand at Rey's head and she passed out, right into his arms.

Poe snatched a Bowcaster out from the hands of the man next to him and carefully aimed, landing a shot into Ren's abdomen. Ren faltered, but continued carrying the girl into his ship. The lights for take-off ignited, and Poe watched as the ship flew away.

"Dammit." he yelled.


	6. Teachings

Rey jerked awake suddenly. She was in the co-pilot's chair of a first order shuttle.

"Dammit, Ren," she yelled. "How _could_ you?" She yanked herself angrily from her chair, looking for Kylo and ready for a fight.

"I've been practicing." He responded weakly. Kylo was slumped in the pilot's seat, clutching his side. His snide remark had caused him to cough. She saw that there was blood in his mouth.

She ran to his chair, and reached out for him, pulling him from the seat and half-carrying him to the back of the shuttle. She couldn't remember where the button had been to open the medical cot. _It had been a different shuttle anyways_ , she remembered.

She hesitated, but he pointed meekly to a panel on her right. She hit every button she could until a medical cot slid out from the wall. She placed him on it, and he sat up, his back against the wall and his legs dangling off the side so that he was facing her. She found a small knife in the med kit, and used it to cut his shirt down the middle. The left side of his abdomen was torn open by a laser shot.

"What is it with you and Bowcasters?" She muttered, wiping his wound with bacta.

He winced, but respond, "just lucky, I guess."

"Shush," she said sternly. This was bad. She dug through the medical kit, but she hardly knew what we she was looking at; fixing people was a lot less simple than fixing ships. He pointed slowly at a small tool. It looked like the one he had used to stich her up.

She looked at him, fear boiling up inside her. She didn't know what to do. She was beginning to panic. He cupped her face into his hands and looked seriously into her eyes. "You can do this. Start at the top, and go slow." He said quietly.

She nodded, and did as he said, putting her left hand on his undamaged waist to steady herself, and carefully moving the tool over his wound starting at the top. He winced occasionally, but maintained his stoic demeanor. She worked carefully, her hands covered in his blood.

It took ages, but when she was done, he pointed to the vitals scanner. She waved it over him, as he had done for her, and it told her than her stitches had stemmed the bulk of the bleeding. There was still a lot of healing still required, but he would live.

She used the batca rag again to clean the wound and her own hands, while he remained sitting with his head against the wall and his eyes closed.

When she was done, he took her right hand into his own, and placed it upon his abdomen, maintaining eye contact with her.

"Would you like me to teach you?" He asked, seriously.

She said nothing, but also did not pull away.

"Close your eyes, and focus on The Force within you. Visualize how it holds you together and makes you whole." She closed her eyes, and did as he said. "Now see that energy moving into your hands. See yourself sharing it with me, healing my wounds, and making me whole again." She flinched at the intimacy of his statement, but kept her hands in place, and felt the force move through her and into his side.

After several moments he breathed deeply, and released her hand. She pulled it back suddenly and they stared at each other for a moment.

She turned away from him and walked several paces away, needing space. _What was she doing?_ He had just kidnapped her, _again._

He walked over to her, and lightly touched her arm. She recoiled away from him.

"Starkiller 2 is operational?" She asked threateningly. " _That_ is why you came to get me. The resistance was the next target, weren't we?" She took another step back, and spoke with barely controlled anger.

"I came because you were in danger." He said simply.

"No, you're a liar! I am here because you kidnapped me _again_ , you-"

He cut her off. "If I could have escaped on my own, I would have, but Captain Dameron and his crew were on us too fast; they were too close. We were either leaving the planet together, or I wasn't going to leave it alive." _And I barely made it out alive as it is,_ he thought - a thought heard by both of them.

He stepped towards her again, reaching out gently, but again she stepped away. Without his shirt, she could see that his large muscular chest was covered in scars, and that his arms were long and strong. His dark hair fell into his face, and she found herself momentarily distracted.

She focused back on the situation at hand, her anger still raging. "If you had just _told_ me what was going on-"

Again he cut her off, "then I would have betrayed the First Order entirely, and I couldn't do that, but I also couldn't let you die. I was willing to walk away in order to protect you."

"You told me that you-"

He was becoming frustrated with her, "Dammit Rey, I did everything I could to be honest with you. You are asking too much of me!"

"I am not asking for _anything_ from you!" She yelled stepping towards him with such wrath that he took a step back. "And can't you find a goddamn shirt on this _goddamn_ ship?!" her rage finally boiling over.

He gaped at her for a minute, and then smiled. She continued to breathe heavily and stared angrily into his face.

"Sorry." He said quietly, "I didn't realize it was getting you all worked up." He smirked and turned to grab a shirt from a nearby bin, pulling it gingerly over hirs head.

She scoffed. "Please. Seeing you shirtless is hardly enough to get me worked up." She remarked tartly.

He smiled again. Lowering his voice, he leaned in towards her, "Well what else did you have in mind?" He smirked and walked away, leaving her looking shocked and then angry. He climbed back into the pilots seat and asked, "So, where am I taking you?"

She shook her head and then followed him into the co-pilot's seat.

"Mos Eisley."

"What? Why would you want to go there? It's crawling with First Order informants."

"It has its fair share of Resistance informants as well, I'll have you know. I will have missed the Resistance rendezvous by now, so the only way for me to meet back up with the rest of them will be to wait until I am contacted with the new location, and then hop a transport with one of our contacts on Tatooine." She began plugging in the coordinates.

"Now, wait just a minute." Kylo hit the kill switch to override the co-pilot's controls and then turned to her.

"How long until you are contacted?"

"Probably a few hours, it won't take long." She shrugged nonchalantly. _Could be a few days._ She thought, and they both heard that too. She scolded herself.

"Mos Eisley is too dangerous a port for you to wait this out." He turned to her, leaning in towards her, "I can take you to a neutral planet, and we can wait there. When you get your coordinates I will drop you wherever you'd like to go."

"I'm not going anywhere with you." She spat.

"According to your plan, you'd be going to Mos Eisley with me."

"Just to be dropped there."

"That's a ridiculous distinction."

"I'll be just-"

"Rey, this is the safer option for you and you know it." He said firmly.

She shifted in her seat and considered. The thought of a prolonged stay with Kylo Ren gave her goosebumps, but she had also heard some very rough tales about about Mos Eisley. She knew that the Resistance contacts there were unreliable at best. She contemplated and realized, _He is right._ Their eyes met. He had heard that too. _Dammit._ The link between them had been growing stronger and it was beginning to get confusing.

He entered the coordinates for a planet called Yavin.

She looked away and tried to control her emotions. _Was this the safer option?_


	7. Yavin

Rey sat nervously as the man beside her navigated the ship to land on one of the moons of Yavin. _Yavin 4_ , she realized.

"It's the last place the Resistance would ever go looking for me." Kylo Ren said to her with a smirk.

She smiled and nodded. He had a good point. The site of the historic Rebellion victory and the destruction of the first Death Star would seem an unlikely place to go looking for Kylo Ren.

As he concentrated on landing the ship, she looked over at him and considered her current circumstance. She was sitting calmly and freely next to Kylo Ren. She was not his prisoner, or even his enemy, in fact, she had essentially agreed to entrust him with her safekeeping for the moment.

 _How had this happened?_ She wondered.

As the ship broke though a thick layer of cloud on their decent to the ground, she could see the gorgeous terrain of the planet below. Soaring green mountains, deep purple lakes, and sparkling white waterfalls filled her view. She studied the landscape, trying to soak in every detail. She was in awe.

Kylo diverted his attention from the controls to glance briefly over to Rey, smiling to himself as he noted the wonder and joy on her face. He had always loved Yavin Four, even as a young boy, it had been his favorite place to go. The moon was a beautiful landscape with a tendency for sudden and violent storms. He loved the dichotomy of the place.

The ship touched down, and he opened the hatch to the landing ramp. Bright sunlight filled the ship, and he walked down the ramp, breathing in the familiar smell of Yavin Four, and smirking to himself as he vaguely recollected various visits from his past.

Kylo felt Rey walk down the ramp and stop beside him. She breathed in the air, and took in the luscious scenery around her. She had never seen anything so beautiful. The scene affected her deeply, tugging at her heart and grasping at her emotions. She felt a deep nostalgia for this place like she had been there a hundred times before.

She closed her eyes trying to center herself, and her emotions began to swirl. She could hear the distant sound of a child's laugh. She began to picture a tall, scruffy-haired man picking up a small boy and pulling him onto his shoulders. There was a woman who stood watching them, laughing and scolding the man for playing too rough. The child's laughter grew stronger and he egged his father on. Rey was overwhelmed with intense emotions: joy, pain, remorse, guilt. She could barely breathe.

She gasped and faltered, recovering her footing in time to lock gaze with Kylo Ren beside her.

His expression had been full of pain, but with his realization that she had shared in his vision, his pain was replaced with shock and then fury. He opened his mouth to shout at her, but she could feel his rage brewing and she stepped forward and put her hand on his chest in attempt to calm him.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean… I didn't try to… I… I can't explain it but I promise you I did not intentionally see that." Her voice was pleading but genuine. "I… I am having a hard time understanding the barriers between our minds right now." She spoke this last part quietly, unable to meet his angry and penetrating gaze.

She could feel his anger fading as soon as she began to speak. She felt it being replaced with another emotion: regret. She stepped back from him, and looked at the ground, waiting for his response.

He sighed deeply, still recovering from her breach of his privacy. "I might have been projecting… a bit." He grumbled. "I am finding it confusing, myself." He added, his voice steady and even.

She nodded at him, and they stood together, in tense silence.

Finally, he turned back to Rey. "I am going to go explore that ridge to the north. A part of the old Rebellion fortress network is up there." He nodded, and turned and began to walk away.

Rey remained in place, confused. _What about me?_ She wondered to herself, but she sensed that he had overheard.

He paused and turned back to her, trying to mask his surprise at her question. "Well you're welcome to join me," he tried to sound indifferent as he continued, "but I assumed you would want to spend as little time with me as possible during this misadventure."

She smiled; she could feel embarrassment and discomfort radiating from him. He turned away again, and her smiled faded slightly. That wasn't really what she had meant. She was surprised that he trusted her enough to leave her alone. _I could easily take the ship and leave,_ she reflected, but she cursed herself immediately, even before she had finished the thought. She had tried to prevent it from leaving her mind, but knew she had failed to block her thoughts from him.

He stopped in his tracks, and her heart sank. He turned back to her, exceedingly slowly this time. When he finally faced her, his expression was of utter distrust.

She heard him think to himself, _She would do that?_ He had trusted her.

She stepped towards him, and pushed gently into his mind. _I wouldn't._

He continued to gaze angrily at her. "I'd be disappointed if you did." He said finally, in a calm tone. She could feel him fighting his instincts to yell. She realized he didn't want to yell _at her_. "And I'd be very angry." He finished, turning away for a third time and heading towards the ridge to the north.

After a few steps, he heard her footfalls following behind him, and he smiled to himself. She was coming with him.

"You're always angry." She muttered, scuffling along to try to keep up with his long strides.

He smirked and turned back to her, slowing so she could catch up to him.

"I'd be angrier than usual." He said, lowering his voice and raising his eyebrow at her menacingly. Then he smiled at her, and she laughed, grinning as she walked past him up the hill. He felt an unfamiliar twitch of happiness in his gut as the sounds of her sweet laughter echoed in his mind. His happiness was followed almost immediately by a looming sense of dread. _I have a bad feeling about this,_ he thought t himself, using all the strength and skill he had to keep that thought entirely to himself.

They continued to climb in silence. In the first few instances where Rey's shorter reach prevented her from following Kylo's path, he circled back to help pull her up. She resisted at first, _of course_ , Kylo thought, but she eventually gave in and allowed him to help. He kept his face painfully still in these moments in order to prevent her from misinterpreting anything he did as smugness or ridicule.

After an hour of climbing, they had eased into a comfortable method of teamwork. Rey would reach for him, lightly brushing against his mind whenever she encountered a ledge too tall for her to summit alone, and he began wait for her to provide him advice whenever he was unsure of the best path forward. Rey felt as aware of his movements as she was of her own, sometimes seeing his hands gripping the rocks when she closed her eyes.

When they finally reached the top, she became disoriented as they left each other's minds and regained their own space.

They were standing in a giant cave, on the edge of a ledge, with a view over a sweeping valley and one of the purple lakes they had seen during their decent. Built into the rock wall of the cave were old hanger doors, clearly fallen off their tracks. They were remnants of the old Rebel base that had been abandoned more than three decades earlier. The cave stretched back as far as the sunlight could reach. There were no ships left in the hanger, making it feel empty and echoing. Old computer towers and machinery were strewn about and the space was littered with debris.

Kylo moved around the space, picking up pieces and parts here and there, testing the computers and digging through the supplies.

Rey remained in place at the front of the cave. She hugged her arms to her chest and felt very sad, looking around at the reminders of The Old Rebellion. Her heroes had fought all those years ago to throw off the yoke of the Empire. They had fought and they thought that they had succeeded, and yet here they were, a generation later, trying again to achieve the same goal. There were new names, new faces, but it was the same battle. _Does nothing ever change?_ She wondered sadly, careful to keep her ruminations to herself.

Throwing up her mental barricades even further, Rey thought of Leia. Long ago, Leia may have stood in this room, directing the Rebellion pilots in their battles, giving orders, making difficult decisions, losing good men. Leia's strength, conviction, and integrity were an inspiration to Rey. She looked up to Leia. Rey didn't know or remember what it felt like to love a mother, but she liked to imagine it felt like how she loved Leia.

Rey's stomach fell. _What am I doing right now?_ Her heartbeat quickened and her mind began to race. _Am I seriously trusting Kylo Ren? He said he came to Eyrs to protect me, but how could that possibly be true? He's a monster. He is evil. This is a betrayal._ Again she thought of Leia and the moment when Rey had overheard Leia calling to him, "You are my son." Rey closed her eyes to try to gain control, but she was losing the battle to her fitful apprehension, her emotions a chaotic jumble. _Why did he let me escape from the_ Finalizer _? He could have killed me. He should have killed me. He could have killed me on Starkiller Base and he didn't. He-_

She felt gentle hands on her shoulders as Kylo Ren softly shook her from her disturbed contemplations.

"You okay?" He asked, looking down at her with concern. "You're a torrent of fear right now. Did you sense something?"

She stepped away from him, "I'm fine." She answered coldly. He nodded and stepped away from her as well. He could sense that her fear had increased when she looked at him, and felt his stomach drop. _She's afraid of me._

It had begun to rain, and he tuned his attention to watch the downpour cover the valley. His favorite thing growing up had been to watch the rainstorms pass over Yavin Four. They were intense and powerful, but brief. They had always filled him with joy.

He looked back to Rey, who was gazing wide-eyed over the valley, her fear subsiding, but not entirely gone.

He could hear her thoughts, despite his attempts to stay a respectful distance from her mind. _She's projecting_ , he thought. He lingered in her thoughts, listening despite himself. She was thinking about how much she loved the rain, and about Jakku where the rain was precious. She was wondering if rain could still be precious when it occurs in such plentitude. This thought made Kylo Ren smile, and she sensed the change in his mood.

"I love the rain too," he said quietly.

She smiled gently at him, slightly regretting how she had jumped at his touch earlier.

Her smile encouraged him, "I found a few old transmitters in the back. I think we can get them running with a bit of tinkering. I honestly don't know what frequency the Resistance is using, and you don't have to tell me, but we could probably-"

She cut him off, "I won't need a transmitter." She spoke quietly, avoiding his gaze.

 _Mother,_ He thought. Rey was waiting to hear from his mother. The thought hurt him, and he recoiled back into his own mind. He turned out to the landscape below, gazing into the rain, trying to push away the ache in his gut.

The two stood together, savoring the rain in silence, their thoughts beginning to mingle again confusingly.

He felt her gentle meditations slowly turning tumultuous again, and retreated back to his own mind to give her space. He could sense that she was full of questions; he could feel her simmering in suspicion, confusion, curiosity and fear. He could guess as to the nature of her confusion, sharing in it himself.

He felt her attempting to calm her emotions, gathering strength and steeling herself. He gathered his own strength, preparing for her onslaught. She was going to ask him about all the things he had dared not touch until now.

She turned to him and took a deep breath.

He spoke before she could. "Be careful, Rey" His voice was guttural and quiet, "You won't like some of my answers, and I have a few questions of my own for you." He looked at her intensely, daring her to continue, hoping for her to continue. "Don't open a door you cannot close. Once we walk through, we will not be able to go back."

He felt her resolve shake. He was ready, but he could sense her conflict and fear.

She stepped close to him so that they were inches apart, and glared into his eyes. "Quite right."

She walked away, turning down a path that led away from the ledge and towards a small forest on the hillside. It was still pouring, but she didn't care.

 **I know it's be a million years since I last posted; I'm so sorry! It was super important to me to get this particular chapter right. It is slow, but it marks a turning point in the story, and I wanted to make absolutely certain I kept Rey and Kylo Ren in character for this part. Things pick up again from here, and my goal is that the character development here lays the foundations for their actions in the rest of the story.**

 **As an aside, the whole reason I decided to write this story what that I wanted to tell a Reylo romance where two remained completely in character. I ship them hard, for sure, but I don't love it when stories have Rey go weak in the knees or when Kylo pouts or mopes about pining for her. I'd be happy to know your thoughts on how successful or unsuccessful I've been.**

 **As a hardcore lover of the original trilogy, my secondary goal has been to sprinkle in lines and details from the original movies. I hope that is as fun for you as it has been for me. :)**

 **Thanks for the love everyone. It's been hugely encouraging.**


	8. The Duel

Rey followed a small path that led through the forest that lined the ridge. The rain and wind whipped her face, but she continued forward undaunted. She walked for almost half an hour.

Eventually, her heartbeat calmed and her mind began to slow. She sat down at the base of tree and pulled her legs up into her chest.

Rey thought about her training, about how differently she had felt when she had flown to Ach-To all those months ago. She had had a mission then, she had had a hatred in her heart, she had had an enemy. Luke had told her to let go of that hatred, but she knew now that she had used it to give her strength, to give her purpose. Since then, everything had gotten muddled. She kicked the ground in front of her, her feet splashing the mud. _What am I doing here?_

She reached into her pocket, turning a small stone in her hand. Leia had an identical stone in her pocket, wherever she was now. Leia and Rey used these stones to focus their energies towards each other. They could not communicate effortlessly the way Rey and Kylo Ren did.

She turned pulled the stone out and held it in her palm, focusing on Leia and hoping desperately that Leia was thinking of her. She needed to speak to someone, anyone, other than Kylo Ren.

Rey felt Leia begin to recognize her, and turn her attention towards Rey's attempts to make contact.

 _Rey?_ She asked. _Are you alright?_

 _I'm fine, General._ Rey sighed deeply. She could barely hear Leia. _The connection is weak; we need to be quick. Where are you?_

 _We're on Dantooine._ Leia's voice dropped slightly. _Are you safe?_

Rey hesitated, _Yes, I'm safe._

 _Then stay put. The First Order -_ Leia's voice dropped away completely.

Rey clung tightly to the stone, trying to focus on Leia.

 _\- total ban on interplanetary travel. Stay where are you are for now._ For a moment Rey could hear Leia clearly. Her voice sounded tired and pained. Rey wondered if she had heard about her son's visit to Eyrs. She felt sure that Leia must have heard by now. Rey felt shame creep up her neck. Her shame must have travelled through their link, because Leia asked her, _Is he with you?_

Rey hesitated. _He…_ She couldn't find the words. Her heart raced and her mind lost focus. The connection was severed and she lost the sound of Leia's voice.

Rey remained still. _A ban on interplanetary travel?_ The First Order would not be able to maintain that for long. She figured the ban must be an attempt to catch stragglers like her trying to make their way to the Resistance base. She breathed deeply and pushed away the word _Dantooine._ She must not tell Kylo Ren. She had betrayed her friends, her morals, her training, but she would not betray Leia. She promised herself this.

The rain stopped, and the clouds parted to reveal a mesmerizing purple and orange sunset.

Rey gathered herself and headed back to the Rebellion cave. She wouldn't be leaving for the Resistance tonight; she would need shelter, even if it meant having to face _him_ again.

Again shame crept along her spine. She should not have stormed off earlier. Ren had been right. They both had questions, but giving in to them would serve only to complicate matters. She couldn't understand why he had let her escape _The Finalizer_ , but then she also didn't understand why she had asked him to come with her. She found it hard to believe that he had come to Eyrs in order to rescue her, but she was equally incredulous that she hadn't arrested him on sight, in fact she had been in the process of letting him leave when Poe and his crew fired on them.

She trudged back through the mud, her boots splashing in puddles and her dress wet and clingy. She pulled her hair down, undoing the three buns that she always kept. She shook it out, trying to help it dry in the last rays of the setting sun.

When she arrived back in the hanger, she found Kylo Ren asleep against the wall of the cave. His head drooped slightly to one side, and his arms and his legs were pulled tightly to his chest. His long hair fell into his eyes. Even in this docile state, she noted his broad shoulders and his muscular arms. _This is a dangerous man_ , she reminded herself.

She stood in the hanger, locked with indecision. _Should I wake him?_ She wondered. _Can I sleep myself?_ The idea of letting her guard down enough to sleep near him made her shift nervously, but she was also completely exhausted. She looked out of the hanger to the view of the valley. The colors of the sunset had dulled and darkened into deep plums, grey oranges, and red browns. It would be dark soon.

Rey turned back to Kylo, and noticed that he had two small blankets stacked neatly next to him. The sight tugged at something deep within her. She sighed and went over to him. She unfolded the larger blanket and spread it over him, before curling herself into the smaller one and lying on her side. She closed her eyes and fell into a gentle sleep almost immediately.

As the temperature in the valley dropped through the night, she had groggily noticed they had huddled closer to together. They never touched, but he had joined her on the ground, and she had curled into a ball beside him. When the sun rose, she woke to find a second blanket draped on top of her own.

She stretched and looked around. He was leaning against the wall of the cave, looking out over the valley as they had done the day before. She walked over to join him.

"You have a destination." He didn't turn back to her as he spoke. His voice was steady and cold.

"Yes." She answered quietly.

"Shall we then?" He had his mental barriers up and his voice lacked inflection.

"No." She said.

"No?" He turned back to her, looking down questioningly, _perhaps hopefully?_

"The First… there is a ban on interplanetary travel. I am not sure for how long, but we would be caught out immediately if we tried to travel now." She paused and added, "Maybe you can get around that, but I don't know how we'd explain this to anyone on either side if we were stopped."

He considered. "In my own ship, I could probably talk my way out of being boarded, but in the piece of junk we brought here… I'm not so sure."

She nodded. He looked back over the valley. She added quietly, "Sorry."

He turned back to her, "Sorry? For what?"

"I don't know. Take your pick."

He smiled slightly, and they stood quietly for a moment.

He turned to her, still smiling, but he reached for his lightsaber. The sight caused her to jump back and reach for her own. Her heart raced.

He chuckled. "We can't just sit here and wait this out, Rey." Her stomach turned when he said her name. "We are better at fighting than we are at co-existing." He ignited his saber and grinned at her. "Just to first blood?"

She grinned back at him and ignited her own saber without hesitation. She took several steps back and circled him in the space. "Just to fist blood." She agreed, smiling and letting her tension and fear fall away.

She could feel his mind relax and his body stretch. All the emotion and struggle he had been burying away exploded out of him, fueling his advances. He attacked roughly and energetically, throwing himself at her and spinning his weapon skillfully over his head.

Rey followed his example, using her uncertainty, her fears, her guilt to fuel her strength. She gracefully dodged and eluded his blows. She ran from the bay, following the path she had taken the night before. In the open space of the hanger, Ren had the advantage, his large frame and wide reach filling the space and looming over her in all directions. In the tight woods, however, Rey's agility and speed gained her the lead. He had to reduce his movements to short, blunt thrusts in order to avoid the thick tree trunks around them.

In quick succession, she landed several blows exceedingly close to him, one nicking his shirt, but missing the skin. She grinned brightly, reveling in her near success.

He quickly noted the change in the tide of their fight, and maneuvered around to flank her and to try to push her back toward the hanger.

She jumped behind a tree, dodging his saber, which sent a blast of tree bark flying. She lunged back to the opposite side to try to catch him off balance, but he had anticipated her maneuver, and slammed his elbow into her chin.

She was knocked off her feet and hit the ground with a thud, her weapon just out of reach. He pointed his saber down to her chest.

"Well that was easy." He said, grinning at her.

She grabbed a fist full of mud and threw it at him, rolling away from his weapon and grabbing her own saber.

In moments she was back on her feet, her weapon connecting with his. He wiped the mud from his chin and neck, smiling angrily at her. She chuckled and continued to circle around him.

When she had her back to the hanger, he pushed forward aggressively. She lost her footing slightly, and ran back several steps to regain her balance. They were nearing the edge of the clearing.

She dodged more of his attacks, trying to flank him back towards the woods, but he used his larger frame to direct her path back towards the hanger. They stood on a rock ledge, to the right was the forest and to their left was the open hanger. She knew that she had to do anything she could in order to direct them back to the woods rather than allow herself to be led into the hanger.

She turned directly to him, flexing her agility and flipping over him in her attempt to get behind again. He sensed her move before it came, and he grabbed her shirt mid-jump and slammed her against the rock wall, grinning. He had her pinned with his left arm, and held his saber in his right. She still held her weapon, but she couldn't move her arm against his tight grip.

Their proximity to each other was intoxicating. They breathed heavily and smiled. She was not done fighting him, he knew, but he enjoyed his momentary victory. He enjoyed holding her close. She wasn't struggling to get away. She looked up at him defiantly, but she was smiling.

With his arm across her chest, he could feel her breath. Her heart was racing, a pace that matched his own. His hair fell down into his eyes, and he watched her gaze roam over his face. She was admiring it.

Suddenly, he sensed movement behind him.

"Well done, Ren," said an ominous voice. "I must say I didn't think you could do it."

Kylo Ren's body went completely stiff. He looked at Rey who was staring wide-eyed and horrified over his shoulder.

 _Hux,_ he heard her think.


	9. Rey's Capture

"What the hell are you doing here General?" Kylo demanded without turning to face the new arrival, silent fury pouring from his every breath.

"Looking for you, of course," Hux said icily.

Kylo still held Rey against the wall of the caves, his saber ignited, but his anger and focus was entirely directed to the general. To her surprise, the vitriolic dislike she sensed emanating from Kylo Ren was surpassed by the pure hatred seeping from General Hux.

 _What the hell is going on?_ She pushed into his mind. Kylo locked eyes with her briefly, but then shook her away, pushing her from his mind. His fury was boiling over.

Hux approached the two, followed by a group of two-dozen stromtroopers, poised to follow the General's commands.

"You were tracking me, General?" Kylo seethed menacingly, "This is a complete breech of protocol. When Snoke-"

"The Supreme Leader provided me your location, and ordered me to come collect you." Hux was savoring every word.

Rey felt Kylo freeze. His thoughts were chaotic, and she struggled to read him. She had intended to be angry, to accuse him of treachery and betrayal, but his frustration and rage were suffocating her. _There is no way he knew about this._

"Snoke would not have-" Kylo began.

Hux cut him off, "Supreme Leader sensed your proximity to the Scavenger. He worried…" He paused and leaned in, whispering quietly, " that you had lost your way."

Rey could feel Kylo losing control. His anger was devolving into a directionless rage, his frustrations turning into desperation and despondency. She nudged into his mind again, _Kylo, you have to take me captive._

He locked eyes with her again, his expression stern and dark.

 _I won't._

"Supreme Leader will be pleased when he hears that you triumphed over the girl," Hux stepped closer to the two of them, reaching to his belt to pull out a pair of braces, "that his fears of your inconstancy were unfounded." Rey could sense Hux's deep distrust of Kylo Ren.

She dropped her saber, and pushed against Kylo, feigning futility and surrender.

"Let me go!" She yelled, "This is-"

"Silence!" Kylo yelled at her. _Rey, I can't protect you if –_

 _Snoke will know if you don't. He already suspected you…_

Hux handed the braces into Kylo's hands. Kylo looked at her sadly, before roughly turning her to face against the cliff wall and locking the braces around her wrists.

 _I will get you out of this,_ he whispered into her mind, turning her back to face him again. He called her saber to his hand, and tucked it into his belt. He grabbed her by the arm, and moved to push her towards his ship.

"No need, Ren. I can take it from here." Hux reach to take her other arm, but she lurched away. Hux grabbed her roughly by the chin and tilted her head up to his face, "enough, girl. You've lost, and now you will submit."

Rey rebelled against his grasp.

Kylo watched in feigned indifference as Hux dragged Rey away. The general handed her off to his stormtroopers who pushed her forward, blasters shoved into her side.

Hux walked back to Kylo, who hadn't moved since Rey's arm was tugged from his grasp.

"Much has happened while you were away, Ren. We will have a lot to go over when we get back onboard."

Kylo began following behind the troopers, his hand clasped tightly behind his back. His hatred for Hux was suffocating him, blinding him. _That blasted general has ruined everything_. He could feel Rey's fear growing. She was being dragged into the ship, and was violently struggling against the troopers directing her. One of them hit her in the face with the back of his gun, disorienting her. A shiver ran down Kylo's spine.

 _"_ You must be disappointed that The Supreme Leader's suspicions about me proved to be unfounded." He spat at Hux, his voice quivering more than he had intended.

The General paused, turning to face Ren. "No, Sir."  
Kylo stopped to face the man.

"I have no envy for those who must face you as an enemy. I am glad your allegiance has remained steadfast." The General nodded to Kylo and continued walking. "I will send one of my men to pilot your ship back and you can travel with us. I will debrief you in transit."

Kylo continued in a slow pace behind the general. _I need a plan._

Rey leaned with her back against the cold metal walls of her cell. Since the troopers had forcefully tossed her into these confines, she had been trying desperately to control her fear. She pulled her legs up into a crossed-legged position, and placed her hands on her shins, trying to meditate as Luke had taught her. _Luke,_ she thought. _What would he think of me now?_

Her meditations fell away as she was overpowered by powerful emotions: guilt, shame, disgust. _I could never be a Jedi._ She thought, acknowledging her failure to meditate, and giving in to her emotional spiral. _Snoke was right. He sensed it even before Luke did. I am no Jedi and I will never-_

The door opened. She recognized the familiar form of Kylo Ren, dressed in his shall and cloak and concealed by his mask. The door slid close behind him and he immediately reached to pull the mask off his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She jumped to her feet, and he reached for the cut over her eye.

"I'm fine." She said stiffly, brushing his hand away. For a moment he was surprised by her cold response. _She is my enemy,_ he reminded himself.

"Snoke has asked to speak with me," He said, trying to match her cold tone. "I can keep him from seeing anything he might consider… troublesome, but I find it unlikely you would be equally successful in repelling him." He raised his eyebrow in question.

She glared at him. _Obviously not, Kylo,_ she thought angrily, as she said aloud, "It is unlikely."

"Right," he sighed, "We have to find a way to get you out of here, and quick. I have a plan-"

She nodded, but the knot in her stomach grew. She hesitated a moment, her frustrations with herself growing. She took a deep breath. "Kylo," she began. She spoke so softly that he looked up in surprise.

"Kylo, you can't help me escape." She finished.

He continued to stare at her, titling his head slightly in confusion.

"After you speak with Snoke, you have to find an excuse and leave the ship. I will wait several hours, or perhaps I will sense it once you've left, and once you have then I will escape, but you cannot be anywhere near here when I do and you cannot know anything about it."

"Why?" he looked concerned.

Her shame and self-disgust was reaching a boiling point, but she was committed. This was her choice.

"Snoke already suspects something is amiss, Kylo. When word of my escape gets back to him, the story _must_ be that Hux failed and I got away. There cannot be any way for anyone to implicate you." She looked at the ground as she spoke, and heavily barricaded her mind from him.

He was quiet for a long time.

"Hux wants to question you. He suspects you know the current location of the Resistance." He said, he voice controlled and calm.

"I can handle Hux." Rey said, raising her eyes to look at him. Kylo was staring at her, seriously. She could feel his emotions swirling, doubt, hope, gratitude. She kept her face stiff, trying to continue to block him from her mind.

He shifted closer to her, leaning his head down to meet her face, "I'm certain you can."

He was exceedingly tall, standing over her. The room felt hot and claustrophobic. She shook her head and avoided his gaze.

"Good it's decided, now go."

He remained in place, his expression penetrative. "Why?" he asked.

"Why?" She repeated. "I've just explained…"

"Why would you help me?" His asked, his eyes gazing intensely into hers.

She stared, wide-eyed for a moment before directing her gaze onto the floor. "I owe you for-" she began.

"You owe me nothing." His voice was firm. He kept his gaze fixed on her, but she continued to focus her attention to the ground.

He gently reached for her chin, tilting her face up to look at him. Her expression was anxious and troubled, but she said nothing.

He watched her in confusion as she struggled with her turmoil and frustration. He pushed lightly into her mind, questioning her. _Tell me why._

She pushed him away lightly. "We agreed not to ask questions, not to open doors we couldn't close," She stated evasively. Her voice was rising and shaking.

" _You_ decided not to ask questions." He said quietly, " _I_ didn't." He smirked at her, and despite herself she smiled.

Rey surveyed Kylo's tall frame; he barely fit in the tiny room. He maintained the small distance she had put between them, respecting her demand for space. She studied his face, his strong jaw and sad eyes. She felt lost, afraid of her own emotions.

He was pulling at the corners of her mind again, prodding her gently.

"I can't…" She exhaled, "You have to go, Ren."

He stepped toward her, leaning down to her height. His face was inches from hers. She felt his eyes on her, his thoughts nudging against her, his presence enveloping her. She felt his breath mingle with her own. He looked into her eyes, and she felt their connection deepen. The tendrils of their minds intertwined, mingled, merged. Their lips were inches apart, his gaze locked with hers.

"Please," she whispered against his lips, "you have to go."

He took in a breath, and exhaled it slowly, his body collapsing inward, his shoulders slumping slightly. He turned away from her and moved swiftly to the door, "Goodbye, Rey." In a moment he was gone, the door sliding loudly behind him.

Rey slumped against the wall, her breath catching and returning in staggered gasps. She brought her hands up to her lips, shock and pain coursing through her body. _No._ She looked at the door, gritting her teeth. She desperately fought against the tears that pooled in her eyes. _Please no._


	10. The First Order

He had never been more grateful for his mask. Stomping through the halls, Kylo Ren was fighting a losing battle to his chaotic emotions and was on the verge of an explosion unlike any he had endured before. _If I don't act now, I may never see her again._

He knew he should return to his quarters and calm down before speaking to the Supreme Leader, but his wrath and his rage were clouding his judgment. He wanted to destroy something, to scream, to smash. He wanted to punish. He was angry at everyone and everything, including his faithless master.

He stormed into the cavernous space that held the holoprojector, and called to Snoke.

"Kylo Ren," came Snoke's echoing voice, his large form appearing in hologram before Kylo. "Very good work, capturing the Scavenger." The giant form nodded. "Most impressive. I know she has been a difficulty for you."

Kylo bristled at the mention of her, "Yes" he managed coldly, barely suppressing his violent irritation.

"General Hux is confident she knows the current location of the Resistance. The time is near when we will be able to destroy their paltry coalition forever." Snoke shook his outstretch fist in the air, and looked down to his student, "And it will all be thanks to you."

Kylo Ren felt sick, disgusted by the thought of Hux interrogating Rey.

"Given that she was on Yavin Four at the time of the Resistance rendezvous, it seems unlikely that she would know anything about their new base." He kept his voice impassive and his mind heavily-barricaded.

Snoke was silent, staring down at Kylo Ren. His face was stern, and calculating. He sighed deeply. "When, exactly, did I lose your trust, Kylo Ren?" He said, finally. The room nearly crackled with violent tension.

Kylo Ren's anger flared. He barely noticed as rocks came tumbling down the walls of the room, shaken lose by the tremors of his rage and scattering across the floor to his feet.

"When, exactly, did I lose yours, Supreme Leader?" He spoke with distain.

Snoke shook his head, and stared gravely down at his apprentice. "The General's claims were petty and malicious; I never doubted your fealty, Kylo Ren."

Kylo scoffed, "Then why send him to Yavin Four?"

Snoke hesitated, "I worried for you. I knew the Scavenger had been clouding your judgment, that your compassion for her-"

"I do not have compassion for her!" Kylo Ren lied.

"Do NOT lie to me, _boy_ ," Snoke roared, his voice cutting through the air like a knife. "I know all about your compassions. I know about her unlikely escape last time she was on board, about your encounter with her on Jakku, and when you left for Erys, I knew exactly what you intended to do."  
Kylo closed his eyes in defeat, and breathed deeply. Snoke would kill him for this, or punish him in ways worse than death. _He will make me pay._

"Kylo Ren, I knew," Snoke paused, "and I did not stop you. I trusted you then, and I still do. I do not believe you have lost your way."

Kylo opened his eyes and looked up to his master in incomprehension. "I _have_ lost my way." His voice was sad for only a moment, but then his anger returned and it returned in vitriolic force.

"I have been plagued by the call to the light. I have been suffocating in it. I am drowning in its pain and guilt and torment."

Snoke remained silent, and in the moment of stillness, Kylo Ren's rage consumed him entirely. He was nearly blind in his fury and hatred.

"You said that killing my father would slake this anguish! You said that it would end my pain, and that it make me strong! Han's death has ruined me! I am weak, I am miserable, I am tortured by guilt and shame and regret! Everything you told me was a lie!" Kylo screamed with all the strength in his core.

Giant chunks of rock began falling of the walls of the room, smashing to the floor and scattering into broken pieces. The circuits in all the computer panels sparked and crackled, sending riotous electricity shooting across the space in all directions.

Kylo pulled out his saber and slashed at the floor, and then at the walls, destroying anything he could find in the barren room. Finally, he threw his saber against the wall, smashing it and scattering pieces across the floor. He fell to his knees, and slumped over himself, too angry even to cry. _Surely he will kill me now,_ Kylo thought, and the thought gave him comfort. _This pain will finally be over._

Snoke raised his hand toward the fractured splinters of Kylo's lightsaber. He delicately closed his fist, and the pieces began to reassemble. The saber rebuilt itself until it was made new again, whole and complete. Snoke slowly moved his hand, and the reconstructed weapon floated towards Kylo.

Kylo closed his eyes, peacefully awaiting the sound of his saber's ignition and the feeling of its final blow, but instead it stopped before him, handle facing towards him. He looked at it skeptically, and shook his head, before looking up to his master.

Snoke's face was not hateful or angry, instead it was expressionless and grey. "Take your weapon, Kylo Ren." He said, coolly.

Kylo reached slowly out for his saber, grasping it tightly.

"I have never asked you eschew the light." Snoke said, his voice firm and unyielding.

Kylo looked up, his gut turning.

"Your uncle made you choose: light or dark. Good or evil. Jedi or Sith. He was blind to the strength, to the _beauty_ of your power. You are both. You are light and you are dark: a perfect balance. You are not crippled by edicts and laws, by restrictions or doctrines. Your power is limitless, it is infinite. You rule your own destiny."

Kylo's emotions roiled painfully, his breaths short and slow, his jaw trembling. He felt a tear fall down his cheek, and sucked in a quick breath to try to steady himself.

"I should have sensed the depth of your struggle, Kylo." Snoke said, sadly. "As your teacher, I should have supported you during these trials."

Kylo couldn't speak; he could barely breath. He felt like all of the pains and sorrows that had burdened him these past months were falling away.

"It is not too late for you, Kylo Ren, to finish what your grandfather started."

Kylo looked up at Snoke. _My grandfather,_ he thought, confusion again taking hold.

"You told me that my grandfather turned to the dark side because of Obi-Wan Kenobi," he paused, but continued, "that Obi-Wan killed Padme?" He had intended it to be a statement.

Snoke nodded. "Yes?"

"I've read all the journals, master, and I no longer believe-"

Snoke raised his hand, and his face contorted with anger, "You believe the _Scavenger_?"

Kylo recoiled momentarily in the wake of Snoke's roar, but with determination he continued, "all of the records suggest-"

"She has corrupted you!" Bellowed Snoke, slamming his fist down with an echoing thud that reverberated of the walls. " _She_ is the call to the light! _She_ is why you have been plagued by pain!" Snoke face contorted with anger. " _She_ will be your ruin, Kylo Ren, if you let her! You promised your grandfather that you would bring balance to the force, that you would finish what he had started, but you will never be able to achieve your goals if you let that _Jedi_ corrupt your principles!"

Kylo's stomach turned. _This pain began after I met her,_ he considered.

"Of course your pain began when you met her. She is just like Skywalker. They believe that the universe is made of only of light or dark, good or evil. They have no place for anyone like you in their world. You defy their very philosophy."

Kylo frowned, his mind racing and confused.

Snoke continued, "They would have you defy the First Order, and all you have worked to create here. They cannot _see_ the justice, the stability of your establishment here. They cannot see the _peace_ that you will bring to the galaxy with your new regime. They would have you join their misguided Resistance, propagating the havoc and disorder of the New Republic until anarchy prevailed and justice died."

Kylo nodded, seeing clearly how foolish he had been, how misguided and irrational. He was seeing clearly again, his pains and torment lifted away.

"I understand, Supreme Leader," He said, his voice strong and determined.

Snoke nodded. "Good. Now go. We need her to give us the location of that base."

Kylo nodded again, his fist clenching tightly to his lightsaber, and his deep voice echoing darkly throughout the room, "She will not resist this time."

 **This was _so hard_ to write. I think it is so important to explain Kylo Ren's motivation clearly, especially if you want to say that he is not a raving lunatic villain, but instead is a conflicted guy who makes bad choices. It's hard to know how much he is brain-washed by Snoke, or lucidly pragmatic, so I tried to convey a bit of both. **

**As a lover of the originals, it's hard to love Kylo Ren _and_ recognize that he super duper murdered (my beloved) Han, but I think it is important to acknowledge that it did, in fact, happen. I tried to frame it within the context of Kylo's messed up life, and to adequately balance explanation with condemnation. I hope it worked. **

**Hope you guys like this! I know there was no Rey/Kylo (sorry), but believe me - there is a _LOT_ of that in the next chapter so get ready for some major feels. **


	11. Rey's Interrogation

**Let's just say, this is a dark one. Definitely a bit of non-con, so please be warned. If you were upset by the interrogation scene in the movie, this is NOT the chapter for you, because this is even tougher. **

**(Sorry guys - I didn't really intend for it go this dark, but I suppose every redemption arc needs its darkest hour.)**

 **We are closing in close to the end now.**

Rey surveyed his barren room. Everything was dark and sterile, hard and unforgiving. His bed was just a low, hard cushion covered in dark sheets, and there were two chairs near the viewport, but they looked painfully rigid and uncomfortable. She traversed the room slowly. _Where would he have put it?_ She wondered. His shelves were entirely filled with holobooks, and there were no personal items to be seen.

She noticed a small table with a drawer next to his bed. She rushed over to it, rummaging through the drawer and sighing in relief as she felt familiar cool metal in her grasp.

Suddenly the door to the room opened, and she turned on the spot, ready to defend herself. She was met with the sight of Kylo Ren, entering his quarters.

"Oh it's you," She exhaled, smiling to him, and releasing the tension from her shoulders.

He was infuriated as he watched her fear recede and he watched as it was replaced with relief as she recognized him. _She should fear me._

"What are you doing in my room?" he asked stiffly and coldly.

"I couldn't leave without this." She smiled, and held up her lightsaber for him to see.

 _The audacity of this Scavenger,_ he thought angrily, _that is mine._

She gazed at him kindly, and stepped closer to him, "I'm sorry – I would have waited if I had realized you were still on board. I felt your force signature change or leave or – I don't know – so I assumed you had already left the ship." She looked at him puzzled. He heard her think, _He's still wearing his mask. That's odd…_

He quickly reached for his mask and removed it. He needed her to think she could still trust him.

"I was speaking with the Supreme Leader, and that room masks all force signatures." He lied. He wasn't sure why the girl could not sense his force signature earlier, but she seemed to accept his explanation.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her face awash with genuine concern. She stepped towards him again, and studied his face intently. She was looking at him as she had when he had held her pinned on Yavin Four: admiringly.

It shook him to see her look at him that way, but only for a moment. He had work to do. He began to creep into the corners of her mind, gently, quietly poking for information. _Where is it?_

"I'm fine." He said, faking a cool smile.

She moved even closer to him, her emotions tumultuous and anxious. He felt her heartbeat quicken as she approached him. He continued to dig, slowly and precisely through her memories. Her distraction and emotional state were working to his advantage, blinding her to his intentions. She couldn't feel him exploring. _Where is it?_

"I'm…" She was mustering the courage to tell him something. She moved close with her eyes on the floor. She took a deep breath and looked up into his face, "Kylo?" She asked, her voice sweet and gentle.

"Yes?" he said, as gently as he could manage. _Where is it!?_

"I'm glad I got to see you again. I wanted…" She moved closer still, and reached up to his face, running her hands gently through his hair and lifting her face to his… _Where is it?_ She locked her gaze with his.

"I wanted…" She whispered against his lips, nearly closing the distance between the entirely, "TO TELL YOU TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" She yelled, grabbing his hair and yanking his head down to her shoulder level, igniting her saber and pressing it against his throat.

She pressed him against the wall and kneed him in the abdomen when he tried to reach for his own saber. She used The Force to push his hands behind him, and pulled his hair back so he looked up into her face.

She looked at him in repulsion. Her mental barricades were up, impenetrable.

"I knew something was wrong. You reek of Snoke, your entire force signature is buried under his."

She look at him suddenly with pity, "What happened to you?"

He fought against her grip, raging and roaring like a trapped animal. "Nothing happened to me, this is who I am!"

She tried to search for instruction from The Force; she had no idea how to deal with this. She had trusted him. She had felt sympathy for him. She had laughed with him.

He began to feed on her conflict and fear, his anger and fury fueling his strength. He pushed harder against her restraint, flexing with all his might against her hold.

"Snoke showed me how weak, how corrupted you had made me. How you had poisoned my mind." He grimaced and scowled as he continued to struggle against her grasp.

She tried to draw on her own strength, on her hatred for him, on her anger, but she couldn't tap into a well of fury as deep as his, and began to lose her grip on him. He pushed and writhed against her force-hold, and Rey's feet began slipping as he forced her away with his rage.

In a sudden move he reached for her saber, knocking it out of her hands and sending it skittering across the floor. He reached with his right hand, attempting to call the saber to him, but in the same stroke, Rey had reached under his arm, pulling his own saber from his belt with her right hand, and wither her left, she pushed out with The Force, using it to still her saber and protect it from his call.

He stood tall, his back against the wall of his quarters as she raised his lit red saber to his throat. It shook and vibrated in her grasp, and the room was filled with the sound so of its hiss and crackle.

She stared up at him, and his chest heaved with each of his deep breaths.

"You won't do it, Scavenger." He said, smirking at her scornfully. "You are made weak by your compassion, as I once was, but am no longer." He shook his head patronizingly, his cold harsh words cutting her deeply. She struggled to collect the strength to do what she knew she must.

"I feel no compassion for _you_ , Ren." She tried to make her voice violent and cold, but her conflict and grief were instantly revealed in her tone.

He laughed at her.

The saber shook harder under her grasp, trembling closer to Kylo's face. He watched her with an air of boredom, his arrogance doubting her entirely.

She released a shaky breath, pursing her lips and furrowing her brow in determination, _I must kill him now_... but she couldn't do it. She knew she couldn't do it.

He stepped closer to her, letting the saber blade lightly scald his shoulder and staring into her eyes hatefully as it burned his skin. She could feel the pain it caused him, like a dull ache between them, and it broke her fortitude. She pulled her hand away from him slightly, which was enough to prove that he had called her bluff.

He lunged to the side, knocking his weapon from her grip and calling the saber to his hands. She called hers into her own grasp at the same time, and the blades met ferociously in a violent clash of sparks. They pushed against each other, wrestling with all their strength to gain control.

He grabbed her wrist, wrenching her away from her center of gravity, and attempting to loosen her grip on the saber. She pushed back, gritting her teeth in determination.

She slipped from his grasp in time to land a blow to his face with back of her elbow, spinning out of his reach. He teetered, thrown off-balanced momentarily, which gave her time to rush him with a second attack. She kicked his blade from his hand, but as she spun to regain her footing, he used his long reach to grab her arm roughly and slam her onto her back, landing her into his bed. She felt her wrist snap, and pain coursed though her arm.

He crawled on top of her, holding her down with all his weight on her broken wrist, and using his other hand to clutch her throat. She screamed out in pain and rage, her well of fury now equally as overflowing as his. She kicked and writhed, screaming and roaring in her wrath, her body pressed against his bed.

He tightened the grip on her throat, and leaned in close to her face. "Where is it?" He asked venomously.

She glared up into his face and said nothing, baring her teeth in hatred.

"I know you know where it is, now give me the location." He tried to dig into her mind, but her metal barricades were strong.

"I'm not giving you anything." She gasped, desperately fighting against his metal intrusion, her body desperately struggling against his weight.

"We've been here before, girl." He sneered, "You know I can take whatever I want."

"You'll never take this," She whispered, closing down her mind as deeply as she could.

He pressed against her wrist again, causing her to scream out in pain. She hated the small tears that leaked from her eyes, betraying her weakness.

He smirked lazily at her, leaning even closer to her, pushing his face against hers. "We'll see."

He used the force to hold her down and moved his hand from his neck up to her face. He gently cupped her in his large hand, and closed his eyes, tearing through other memories. She felt him rummaging through her mind, languidly pursuing her thoughts.

Memories flashed before them both. They watched as he struck her down on Marchett, his blade slicing through her shoulder. She shivered, reliving the pain of that moment.

They watched her failing in her training after she returned to Luke on Ach-To. They watched her form crumble and her focus falter as she fought with her inner conflict and doubt. They watched as a mortified Rey was told to collect herself, and return when she was truly ready.

Kylo laughed softly into her ear and she struggled harder against his tight hold. His body pressed against hers, forcing her to remain still.

They watched Kylo's ship take off from the surface of Jakku, Rey watching her foe leave with the plans she had been sent to retrieve. They felt the crush of her failure. They watched her lie to General Organa. They felt her guilt and misery at having betrayed her idol.

They watched him land on Eyrs, Rey shoving a blaster into his side and questioning him distrustfully.

"No," he whispered, more to himself than anything, "more recent…"

She squirmed against him, feeling him digging deeper, digging closer to her barricades, but she was not afraid of him. She was certain that she would die before betraying Leia, and that knowledge gave her the confidence she needed to barricade him indefinitely.

He explored wildly, desperately seeking more recent memories where she would have known the location, where she might have divulged it in her mind.

They watched themselves step out into the grass of Yavin Four, they watched her scurry after him, laughing at his joke and joining him on his exploration of the area. They watched her drape a blanket over his sleeping form, before curling into sleep beside him.

He growled at this, pressing harder against her, his grip on her broken wrist tightening and causing her to cry out in pain.

He dug faster and deeper, certain he was close, certain he would find what he sought.

Rey gritted her teeth against the pain, but slowly, she felt calm filling her body, felt The Force guiding her, _I will never tell._

She breathed deeply, and closed her eyes, controlling her emotions as Luke had taught her. She understood now what he had meant. _Control your emotions._ She lightly tugged at Kylo's mind, redirecting it so gently he didn't realize she had done so.

They were watching themselves sparing on Yavin Four, they watched him laugh as she threw mud in his face. They watched her smile at him as he pinned her against the wall of the cliff, they felt her emotions rise; affection, trust, empathy.

Kylo shifted uncomfortably, pulling away, but she held him in place, The Force was guiding her. They watched Hux approach them, horror spreading across Rey's face. They felt her fear, not for her own well-being, but fear for Kylo's well-being. They felt her concern and desperation mount as she worried over his fate.

Kylo tried to pull away, but she held fast. They watched her consent to her capture, they watched her accept a hit in the face with the back end of a blaster, they watched her sneak into Kylo's room, and felt the relief spread across her when she recognized him entering the space. Kylo fought harder against her mind, now, hating every second, trying to pull away. The light was too strong.

Suddenly he heaved himself violently away from her, pulling himself from the bed and backing away. His breaths were shallow and short, his heart raced. He gasped, looking at her with disbelief.

She propped herself up on her elbows, her broken wrist limp and lifeless. He stared at her like he had never seen anything like her before, and she returned his incredulity with a gaze of serene confidence. The Force swelled within her, stronger than she had ever felt. She knew exactly what she had done, and what she had yet to do.

With her good hand, she elegantly flicked her wrist, reducing him to a crumpled heap. He gasped in pain, clutching his stomach and desperate for air. She called both sabers to her good hand, tucking them each into her belt. She headed swiftly to the door, feeling his desperate gaze upon her back.

The Force called her to bring him with her. She sighed. _No._ But The Force hummed more intently, calling to her to bring him home. She gazed at his crumpled form, and groaned. _Fine._

 **Hope you like it guys. I stayed home sick today, so I was able to post more quickly than usual. The next one is going to be tough. But I am working on it already. We are close to the end now. Please do let me know your thoughts, I have so appreciated everyone's kindness and positivity. :)**


	12. Rey's Escape

Rey sat in the pilot's seat, her legs pulled up to her chest and her feet on the cushion of the chair. She wrapped her lithe arms around her legs, and rested her head on her knees.

The austere cockpit was a harbor of darkness, black walls, black consoles, black floors.

Kylo Ren was unconscious, crumpled on the floor and bound. She had restrained him with binders at both his wrist and his upper arms, and then tied him to a structural member in the wall of the ship. Her attack on his mind had incapacitated him, but after dragging him on board, she had also taken the precaution of sedating him using a supply from the ships medical kit. His inner rage had quieted since the sedatives took effect, which gave Rey some much-appreciated privacy in her own mind.

She sat, looking out the viewport to the black sky beyond, turning over the events of the last few hours in her mind.

She had been able to use the notoriety of Kylo's command ship and few subtle Force tricks to facilitate her escape from _The Finalizer_. Once free from immediate attention from the First Order, she had hidden the ship in a crater of an asteroid in a nearby debris field, and turned off all but life support and communication systems.

She wanted to remain unnoticed. She needed time to think.

In the meantime, she had been scanning the First Order frequencies. Troopers were reporting the findings of their boarding raids to the command center. Their callous descriptions of violence and destruction turned Rey's stomach. She listened carefully to the reports to ascertain the troopers' strategies. If boarded, she wanted to be prepared for them.

 _Kylo had said he could avoid being boarded if he were in his own ship,_ she remembered sardonically. _Well here we are, Kylo, on your own damn ship,_ she thought at him with spite. The memory pulled at her gut. He had said it to be helpful; he had said it apologetically.

But that was a different Kylo. _I don't know this person,_ she thought sadly.

She reminded herself that she _had_ seen glimpses of this person, however; she recalled his initial rage after she had inadvertently witnessed his memories on Yavin Four. She remembered the violence with which he had attacked his own mother on Marchett.

But Rey had also seen another side of him, one that was trustworthy, protective, even funny. She smirked, recalling him leering down to her to tease her that he would be "angrier than usual" if she stole his ship. _What he meant was he'd be angry if I betrayed him._

Her smirk faded. _Instead, he betrayed me._ Her heart sank and she sighed.

Without moving from her curled up position, Rey used the Force to adjust the dials on the ship's dash, scanning through the comm link stations; it had been some time since the last raiding report. She flipped through all the stations she could find, but all the frequencies were silent. _That's odd._

She closed her eyes and reached out with The Force, sensing a shift but unable to determine the source. She furrowed her brow, and lifted her head slightly from her knees. _Something is…_

Suddenly she felt a desperate pain in gut, anguish rushing through her whole body. She crumpled forward, stabilizing herself by bracing her weight against the dash with her arm. Her heart raced and ached. _Something terrible has happened._ She could feel it.

She jumped from her chair, and turned to look at Kylo. Though he was still slumped in the corner, unconscious, she could sense that he too was feeling the disturbance even in his current state.

The Force guided her. _I have to get to the Resistance immediately,_ she thought, pursuing her lips together in determination.

She leaned over the controls, rapidly entering new coordinates. It was difficult without a co-pilot; Kylo's ship was clearly designed for two pilots, but she worked quickly, making the calculations and preparing the ship for the jump to hyperspace.

As she worked, Rey heard Kylo shuffle slightly behind her. Brushing lightly against his mind, she noted that he was slowly regaining consciousness – the commotion must have roused him.

She cursed.

She quickly plugged in the final coordinates, stretching out to reach past the co-pilots seat to access the last set of controls. The ship shuddered and jumped into hyperspace, white stars flashing past the viewport.

The change in momentum jostled the ship, fully rousing Kylo Ren. Rey turned to face him, her back against the dash. He looked around groggily.

Rey remained completely still, watching him from a distance like a cat watching their prey.

His gaze roamed the cockpit in confusion, before it finally landed on her. His eyes narrowed in recognition and he jerked suddenly and violently towards her, but his restraints bound him in place. He leaned forward in aggression, pulling against his bonds, and attempting to reach out for her, but the binders that held him to the wall rendered him immobile.

He looked down, tugging at the restraints and trying desperately to break free. For one terrible moment, Rey feared the binders would fail, but she sighed gratefully as she watched him relent and slump his back to the wall. He lowered his gaze to the floor.

"You sedated me?" he asked coldly, his voice bitter and severe.

Rey's stomach turned at the sound of his voice. _Weakness_ , she thought, cursing herself. _You are stronger than him._

"Shut it or I'll sedate you again." She held her chin high and turned back to the dash, throwing herself down into the pilot's chair. She didn't want to look at him a moment longer.

He shook his head, his long hair hanging low across his face. "Sure you will."

Tense silence hung in the air, oppressing them both. She could feel anger and frustration radiating from him, and felt certain her own tumultuous emotions were equally as transparent, if he bothered to read them.

His thoughts were red hot and painful. She tried to block the link between them, but since the events in Kylo's quarters, she had found their connection impossible to sever. The only mental solitude she had enjoyed had been when she had sedated him.

He was currently cursing himself for his weaknesses, and wondering what her plan for him would be.

She folded her arms across her chest, and stared at the command dash, watching the readings and calculations trace their journey. _Only another hour of miserable uncomfortable silence,_ She thought sarcastically, mentally calculating the travel time to Dantooine.

"Dantooine?" He asked, his voice wavering.

She spun the pilot's seat to face him.

"You're bringing me to Dantooine? That's where the Resistance is hiding?" He began pulling at his restraints again, kicking out with his feet with each tug.

"Shut it." Rey said, coldly, looking down at his struggle as impassively as she could, and trying again to block him from her mind.

He pursed his lips, and lifted his gaze to meet hers. "You might as well kill me now, Rey, if your plan is to hand me over to the Resistance." He stared at her searchingly, his harsh scrutiny tinged with hurt. "At least have the dignity to do it yourself."

She looked at him in disbelief. "Dignity?" She scoffed, shaking her head at him with spite. "Dignity?" She repeated. Her anger mounted, and she jumped down to the floor, kneeling beside him and grabbing his cloak to shake him aggressively. She glared hatefully into his face. "Where was my dignity when you were invading my mind? Where was my dignity when you were betraying my trust?"

She felt righteous justifications brewing in his thoughts, explanations and excuses filling his mind.

He glared at her, but he said nothing. His gaze followed the angry furrow of her brow, the strong line of her clenched jaw. Her white dress was still covered in dirt and mud from Yavin Four. _She's beautiful,_ he thought, suddenly. It felt like a foreign idea in his mind – a thought from a different person. _I did betray her,_ he thought sadly. He felt shame creep up his spine.

"You're right. You owe me nothing." He said, and to Rey's surprise his voice was flecked with melancholy.

She pulled back from him, perplexed by his tone. She remembered the last time he told her that she did not owe him anything. The circumstances couldn't have been more different; she had been sacrificing her safety in order to protect him. _I was such a fool._

She glared back at him, ready to throw an angry retort at him, when the ship suddenly shook violently, rocking forcefully in all directions. The ship vibrated roughly, and the controls on the dash sparked and hissed.

She was thrown against Kylo, as the ship fell out of hyperspace. She pushed her hands against his chest, righting herself and rushing to the controls.

"What the hell?" She studied the panels.

"What's going on?" Kylo asked behind her. "That wasn't a laser blast; something hit us."

"We hit a debris field along our hyperspace route." She frantically ripped open an access panel in the ceiling, pulling out wiring and splicing it together. Debris continued to pummel the ship, jostling them violently.

"A debris field!" Kylo asked, "How could you miss that in your calculations?"

"It's not on any of the charts…" She slammed the access panel shut, and jumped to the dash, her nimble fingers working frenetically to reprogram the computer. "Shut up for a minute I need to concentrate."

She felt him push into her mind, reading the controls and watching her programming progress.

"Reconnect the power cuplink to the control generator." He said, showing her in his mind where to locate them. She jumped to the floor and stuck her head under the dash, ripping open another access panel and reaching deep in to jostle the power cuplink. Her fingers brushed against it, but it was broken into several pieces. She felt Kylo in her mind, agreeing with her assessment that the cuplink was beyond repair. The ship hit something particularly large, forcefully throwing them off balance.

"Rerouting the control generator directly to the bridge manifold could restore short-range rockets and life support," Rey said uncertainly, searching the dash for the controls she required.

Kylo pushed into her mind again, showing her the locations of the controls she needed. "Deactivate auxiliary power first." He yelled.

"Right." She agreed, jumping back to the pilot's control deck. She then rushed back to work on the bridge manifold. She pulled the lever in the center console, but it was stuck. She concentrated and used the force, pulling again with all her might. "Dammit" she mumbled, trying a third time and failing.

She felt Kylo in her mind again, evaluating the situation.

"Together on three," he said, counting down in their thoughts, _one, two, three!_

She pulled again on the lever with the Force, Kylo channeling his strength into her. Their combined strength dislodged level and she was able to push it into position. The ship's short-range rockets engaged, and Rey jumped into the pilot's seat to steer the ship away from the debris. Once she had cleared the debris field, she turned her attention back to the navicomputer, feeling Kylo pushing into her mind to study the data as well.

"Taris is gone." Rey spoke out loud, studying the screen. "What could have happened to it?" She felt Kylo's mind click into recognition, and his barricades go up against her. She turned in the pilot's chair and scowled at him suspiciously.

He looked back, keeping his face stoic.

"What happened to it, Kylo?" She asked accusingly.

He pursed his lips, and returned her glare, "General Hux had planned to test Starkiller 2 on Taris if he could not find the Resistance base."

She shook her head at him and scoffed in disgust, "You're a monster."


	13. Pirates

Rey flung herself into the pilot's seat and put her two feet up onto the dash. She had been crawling through ducts and digging through conduit for the better part of an hour only to establish what she had known from the start: the ship's hyperdrive could not be repaired, not without supplies.

She rested her head on her hand and groaned.

"Rey, please undo these binders," Kylo said finally, exasperated.

She spun around in the chair and glared at him incredulously, "Not going to happen."

"The comms are fried, the hyperdrive is ruined, for all I know life support is going to fail at any moment. There is nothing I can do now that is worse than our current predicament." He looked sternly up at her.

She scowled at him, but in truth, the thought had already occurred to her that she might need his help once her makeshift fixes for the life support began to fail, and she was sure it was only a matter of time before they began to fail. She wondered if he wasn't right to suggest that she free him, for the moment.

She saw him smirk slightly.

"I told you to stay out of my head!" She spat furiously.

"At this point it's harder for me to repel your thoughts than it is let them in!"

She sighed deeply. "Yeah… I know the feeling."

She shook her head, and got up from the chair to kneel next to him. She grabbed his shoulders and pushed him forward to access his arms and the binders that held him immobile. She leaned her shoulder into his chest, and felt his hair brush against her cheek as she undid the first pair. She pulled back, tossing them behind her into a bin.

She turned back to undo the second pair, but hesitated as she felt his eyes on her. She raised her gaze to look into his face. They were inches apart. She felt her senses dull, her mind lose its clarity. She shook it off and leaned in to remove the second pair.

He shook his hands out as soon as she removed the binders, lifting himself from the floor and stretching. She stepped back, watching his large form unfurling. He towered over her. She worried he might try to attack her again, as he had in his room, but instead he strode past her to the closest access panel and began digging around in the wiring, testing the systems via the general computer.

"What have you done to my ship." He grumbled quietly. Rey watched him from a distance, relaxing her tension slightly, and leaning against the wall of the ship. She watched as he investigated the damage, clearly second-guessing her diagnosis. She folded her arms and glared at him, annoyed.

"The hyperdrive is done. I don't have the parts I need to fix it." She said, irritated with him for his arrogance.

"Did you try to hardwire the nav-con to-"

Rey cut him off, "The nav-con was destroyed."

He looked displeased. "Did you reset the-"

"The R-G grid? Yes, I did. And I the bypassed the thermo-"

"Thermo-reactors. Didn't that restart the hypercoils?"

"No, it didn't." Rey said, her voice flat and irritated. "Three of the four hypercoils overheated and are now useless. We won't get very far on the last one, but it works."

He paused his tinkering and thought for a moment. Slamming the access panel shut, he moved towards Rey. For a moment she feared he was going to attack her and she tensed her muscles, ready to fight, but as he approached she saw his gaze shift to the computer panel she was leaning against. He pressed his hand against the small of her of back, gently pushing her aside to investigate the system readings in the ship's general computer. She rebelled against his touch, glaring at him defiantly, and reluctantly moving aside for him to continue his investigation.

Kylo tinkered through the general computer briefly before conceding that Rey had been right – the ship was essentially ruined.

"Damn." He sighed and pushed past Rey, dropping into the co-pilot's chair, and turning on the navi-computer. He began flipping through the star chart, thinking.

"Hmm…"

Rey sighed, flopping into the pilot's seat next to him, her annoyance at him mounting. _I told you,_ she thought, glaring at him and raising her eyebrow haughtily.

He looked up from the computer and met her gaze. He could feel her annoyance at him, and chuckled. He was ready to snap back at her sarcastically when something in the debris field glinted in the light, catching his attention.

He stood up and looked through the viewport, carefully searching for the source of the reflection.

Rey felt his senses suddenly tense, and followed his gaze into the debris. She leaned forward in her seat searching for movement in the distance, "There." She pointed.

He looked where she indicated, seeing a large grey ship, moving slowly through the debris field.

Rey rose from her seat to better study the ship through the viewport. "It's a salvage ship." She recognized the form from ships that had unloaded their stores at Nima Outpost.

"Pirates." Kylo grumbled, "They must be looking for loot in the wreckage."

He looked at Rey, sensing her concern. _It won't take them long to find us,_ he thought. She nodded at him, her face determined.

The pirates she had seen at Nima Outpost had always been dangerous and treacherous, and she doubted these would be any different.

Kylo move towards her and reached for her waist where his lightsaber was stored on her belt. She backed away suddenly, pulling back from him.

He stiffened, "Give me my lightsaber, Rey." He demanded sternly.

She glared at him, _No._

He stepped closer, looming over her and letting his irritation seep across from his mind into hers. "These pirates will be willing to kill in order to take this ship."

She stepped away, her back pressed against the dash of the ship. She lifted her chin to scowl up into his face, "I am aware." Her voice was even and firm.

His huge frame dominated the space, and he crowded her against the dash. He was close enough to her that he could simply steal his weapon from her; he could rip it forcefully from her possession.

Rey sensed his impending violence, tensing her body in preparation for his attack. He was reminded of their struggle in his quarters, of her body desperately struggling beneath him. The memory sickened him. He felt a plunging sense of guilt and shame overtake him. _I have betrayed her enough,_ he thought desolately.

He leaned back slightly, adjusting his stance so that he no longer crowded her. He raised his hand up to her, his palm open. "Please, Rey." He looked imploringly her, his mind exposed, and his emotions calm.

She hesitated. She felt the shift in him, felt his anger as it dissipated into contrition, but she did not trust him – she couldn't forget his betrayal. She recollected his attack on her, recalling the pain in her gut, the ache in her heart.

She shook her head.

"No." She pushed her feelings distrust and disdain into his mind, forcing him to see the contempt with which she now regarded him. He recoiled from her, shuddering as he felt her scorn and suspicion.

"I will not allow you to carry this weapon, _ever_ again." She said derisively, pushing past him. He stumbled back, overwhelmed by her emotions and pain.

He followed after her, "Rey, don't be-"

"I will take care of the pirates, Ren." She reached into the weapons' cabinet, grabbing a blaster and shoving it forcefully into his chest, "If you must, you may defend yourself with this."

He scowled, adjusting the gun awkwardly in his grasp. Rey smirked, watching him fumble with the weapon. It was a bizarre image; Kylo Ren holding a Stormtrooper's blaster.

She ignored his struggle and diverted her attention back to the viewport, "They've definitely spotted us – they're heading this way." They were incredibly close. Kylo followed after her.

"Rey this is ridiculous, I need my-"

She spun on her heel turning to face him and raising herself to her full height to yell directly into his face.

"NO!" She shouted. She pushed her fists against his chest, causing him to stumble back slightly.

Her rage swelled, "No! What is ridiculous is that I _ever_ trusted you! That I ever thought that we…" she paled slightly, faltering. She stared into his remorseful face, her stomach turning.

Kylo was surprised by her words. He leaned down towards her, his gaze questioning and hopeful, "That we what?"

She wavered, averting her gaze and shaking her head slightly. "I -" but before she could finish her sentence the ship shook roughly. They both turned to the viewport; the salvage ship was no longer in view.

"They've locked their tractor beam." Kylo said, rushing towards the dash. He punched the controls frantically. He furrowed his brow, as he worked to regain control of the ship. "There's nothing I can do to brace the doors."

Rey rushed to join him, studying the readings. She searched for anything that would defend them against the pirates, but the ship was too damaged. There was nothing they could do.

The doors to the cockpit slid open behind them, and they turned in unison to face their adversaries. Six dark figures stepped menacingly into the ship.

Rey stepped forward, igniting her saber and raising it into attack position. "Stay back!" She shouted. She pushed towards them, keeping herself between the pirates and Kylo.

The pirates stilled at the sight of her lightsaber, their dark silhouettes lit by a blinding light from their ship. After a moment, one of the men stepped forward, "What, exactly, is a Jedi doing aboard a First Order shuttle?"

Rey did not sense violence or deception from him; instead she could sense some notion of a moral code. He was unwilling to attack her unless she attacked him first.

 _Honesty._ She decided to respond with equal honesty.

"I stole it." She said earnestly, never lowering her weapon. Kylo shifted behind her, his weapon pointed at the intruders.

The pirate nodded slowly. She felt tension and animosity dissipating from him and his comrades. They approved of her answer.

"Are you with the Resistance?" The man asked, his tone softer.

"I am." She said, her voice stern and proud.

The man nodded again. Several of the pirates stowed the weapons entirely, and Rey felt their anxieties dissolve.

The man stepped farther into the ship, and Rey could now more clearly see his face. He was a handsome man, with dark skin and a broad, kind face. He holstered his gun on his belt. His expression softened as he approached her, and she switched off her lightsaber, lowering it but keeping it in her hand.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" He asked, his eyes glinting. His gaze roamed over her, examining her elegant face and her lithe body, before returning to meet her fierce expression.

"I'm Rey." She said, wavering slightly under his penetrating gaze.

"Rey." He repeated her name, seeming to savor it. He took her hand into his and raised it to his lips, placing a delicate kiss upon its back. "It is a pleasure to meet you Rey. I -" he bowed regally to her, never breaking eye-contact, "am Eero Calrissian."

She bowed her head to Eero, and as she did so, she felt Kylo shudder behind her, his emotions suddenly tumultuous and chaotic. She turned to him, and as she did, Eero diverted his attention to Kylo as well.

Eero studied Kylo for a moment. "Ben?" he asked, his voice cracking.

 **Hi friends! I hope you like this chapter; I am crazy excited about it. I can't wait to explore the history between Eero and Kylo/Ben. I think there is a lot of potential there and I am hoping to tap into it. Thank you as always for your kind reviews - your comments are so encouraging.**


	14. Tales of Ben Solo

Rey watched as the two men stared at each other as though they were both seeing a ghost. Kylo lowered his gun to point at the ground and gaped at Eero, his mind a torrent of confusion and astonishment.

Eero broke their trance, majestically lifting his head and rushing to Kylo, throwing his arms around him, and embracing him ardently.

Rey could feel Kylo's heart race, his body swell with surprise and affection. Somehow she could feel the strength of Eero's hug, the warmth of his arms surrounding Kylo's tall frame, and Kylo's sincere and emotional reciprocation. They broke apart, but Eero kept his hands on Kylo's shoulders.

"It is so good to see you, Ben." Eero gazed at Kylo proudly and fondly.

Rey was struggling under the deluge of Kylo's tumultuous emotions.

Kylo nodded at Eero gravely, his expression dominated by shock and veneration, "It is good to see you too, my friend," he said finally, his voice softer and more raw than Rey had ever heard it.

They nodded at each other, sharing in the reverie for another long moment.

"You're with the resistance, Ben?" Eero asked suddenly, clapping his friend on the arm approvingly, "Last I heard you had…" his smile faded and he broke his gaze from Kylo's face. He was having a hard time choosing his words. Finally he finished, "Aunt Leia was worried that you were… heading down a dark path." Eero's voice had dropped low and his expression darkened. He raised his gaze back to meet Kylo's. Kylo was maintaining a stoic countenance.

"But that was a long time ago," Eero's voice trailed off.

Kylo's face betrayed no emotions, but Rey felt his storm of anguish and conflict. "A long time ago," Kylo repeated quietly, unable to find any other words to explain.

Eero nodded to him, "I understand, Ben. The past is in the past. I am so glad to see you again." He pulled Kylo into another embrace. Kylo responded more stiffly this time; Rey felt guilt and shame creep into his senses.

Eero turned to her, looking her over again as those seeing her for the first time, "And this gorgeous creature?" He said to Kylo, grinning at him approvingly, "She is beautiful _and_ a Jedi; I can see why you came back to the good side." He winked at Kylo, and turned his kind smile back to Rey.

She shuffled slightly, "No. It's not-"

"She's is my Padawan." Kylo said firmly, cutting her off.

 _I am your what?!_ She shot at him, glaring at him as Eero looked away. He smirked.

"Well what can I do for you and your Padawan, Ben?" Eero said, his voice stately and elegant.

Rey jumped in, "We are trying to get to Dantooine." She glared at Kylo, who looked uncomfortable but did not correct her. "We were on our way there when we hit the remains of Taris, which damaged this ship beyond repair."

Eero nodded again, "We have some work between here and Dantooine. We can drop you off once we have unloaded our shipments."

"Thank you, Captain Calrissian." Rey said, her heart leaping. "We would be most grateful to you for your help."

Eero took her hand again, holding it gently between own. He leaned closely towards her, whispering charmingly into her ear, "Please, my dear, call me Eero." He gazed piercingly at her, grinning broadly.

Kylo pushed forward, taking Rey's hand from Eero's and smilingly accusingly at his friend, "Alright, alright."

Eero smirked playfully at Kylo, "Come, let me make you both comfortable aboard my ship." He led the way back to his ship, his crew following behind. Rey realized Kylo was still holding her hand, and tugged it from his grasp. He released her, flexing his hand after she had left his grip.

Eero's ship was large, but the interior living space was barely bigger than that of the Falcon's. There was only one large room, and at the center there was one long table. Rey and Kylo took seats next to each other, while the other pirates dropped into other seats around them, or continued into other rooms, performing work on the ship.

"We have some shipments to drop off at Bandomeer, and more heading to Toprawa." Eero explained, and then he dropped his voice suddenly, "We had been planning to stop into Taris for some shore leave, but given the circumstances, we will continue on straight to Bandor." He glanced towards the end of the table. "Merek had a woman and some children on Bandomeer. He has heard nothing from her or her family, so we can only assume they were lost in the attack."

Rey noticed the pirate called Merek sitting by himself; his face was pale and cold. The longer she looked at him, the deeper she felt his emotions; despair, grief, anger. She turned back to Eero, "That is terrible, Eero. I am so sorry."

Eero nodded sternly.

Rey felt Kylo shift next to her. She saw that he, too, was gazing at Merek. He was sensing Merek's emotions as she had done. Kylo looked troubled, but as soon as he caught her glancing at him he blocked her aggressively.

Eero diverted their attention, charismatically turning to Rey and leaning in towards her, conspiratorially asking, "So, love, what lies has Ben been telling you about me? I must dispel your misconceptions at once!" He smirked at Kylo who returned his smile while shifting uncomfortably.

Rey quickly exchanged a glance with Kylo, "Uh, well…"

Kylo cut in, "I haven't deemed any story about you appropriate for my padawan, Eero."

Eero laughed heartily, "Ahh, you turncoat! You're just jealous that all your best stories all center around this charming hero." He raised eyebrows proudly, winking at Rey.

Rey laughed at Kylo's exacerbated face, "Wait; how exactly do you two know each other?"

Eero laugh slowed, as he looked at Kylo searchingly. "You really haven't mentioned me?" He sounded hurt, and his smile faded slightly. "I thought that Jedis were incredibly close with their Masters."

Rey turned to Kylo's pained face, before interjecting, "My Master is a very private man. I know very little about his past."

Eero smiled, somewhat placated by Rey's words. She felt a nudge of gratitude from Kylo.

She couldn't help herself, and before she could stop she was saying, "Just because he is a private man, doesn't mean you need to be, Eero." She grinned at him mischievously, ignoring Kylo's groan.

Eero laughed and began, "Oh I can tell you anything you want to know about your Master. You see, Ben and I grew up together - our father's were friends. They had smuggled together, and later they fought together in the war."

Kylo retorted, "Yeah… of course that was after Lando had sold Han to Boba Fett,"

Eero rebuked, "Hey, Papa made up for that when he saved Han's ass from Jabba, but Han never gave Papa his ship back."

Kylo gaped at Eero, "Lando lost the Falcon to Dad, fair and square."

Rey watched this exchange. They spoke with the familiarity of a conversation that had been repeated a hundred times before. The two knew theirs lines; they were retelling words from the past, perhaps words learned from their families. For a brief moment Rey could picture it, the two young boys arguing about their heroic fathers; she could see young Ben's shaggy hair falling into his adolescent face. It made her smile.

Kylo sensed her connection to his memories, and raised his eyes to meet her gaze. _That boy is dead._ His voice echoed in her mind, both pained and stern. Rey retreated back into her own thoughts.

Having missed the silent exchange between Rey and Kylo, Eero continued, "Ben and I grew up like brothers. Uncle Han was always dropping him off with my Papa, and Ben would stay with us for weeks, sometimes months while Han was finishing jobs here and there."

Rey frowned slightly at the thought of Han leaving Kylo behind. She glanced at Kylo, but he was looking intently at Eero.

"We would get into so much trouble!" Eero smirked at Kylo, who grinned, "We used to sneak into one of the shops on my street and steal bags of sweets, and then climb up onto the roof of one the of tallest buildings in my neighborhood and we would just watch the city traffic."

"Or throw things at passersby." Kylo murmured, roguishly.

"Ha! Remember that game we used to play where we would take parts from the scrap mounds and bet how high up the cliff face we could throw them?"

"Junk Throw?" Kylo supplied.

"Clever name." Rey interjected sarcastically.

"Yes! Junk Throw!" Eero chuckled, "and then we accidentally hit that Twi'lek and then he chased us for almost an hour!" Eero laughed.

Kylo grumbled, "It's not funny. You father was furious about that, and he blamed me."

Eero laughed harder, "It was your fault!"

"It was your idea!"

Eero laughed, and despite himself Kylo joined him, laughing heartily. Rey turned to watch him, his face breaking into a beautiful smile. She stared up at him, admiring his handsome face and enjoying the sound of he deep laugh. He looked down at her, sensing that she was thinking about him. He felt her admiration, and heard her think, _he is so handsome._ It surprised him, but before he could process her statement, Eero continued.

"And eventually Ben started to control his powers. He had always had them, even from a very young age you could tell that he… I don't know… well I'm sure you had a similar experience, growing into your power – everything changed once he could control The Force, and then well - then the whole city was our playground."

Eero glanced at Rey, his expression cheeky and wicked, "We could do anything we wanted, and Ben would do his hand wave thing and no one would remember that we had even been there. We could go wherever we wanted, take whatever we wanted, I remember one time, Ben smuggled us into the women's showering room at the wellness facility – HA! – none of them were any the wiser." He smirked at Ben, who, to Rey's surprise, was blushing.

She felt herself mirroring his mortification, as she imagined him and Eero standing in a room full of showering women. She glanced at Kylo, but when his gaze met hers they quickly broke eye-contact, both of their minds swirling with embarrassment. She felt within herself a second emotion; _is that… jealousy?_ As soon as she had the thought she pushed it away, but she feared it was too late. She tried to continue to look away, but she could see Kylo turn to her curiously in her periphery.

"Eero, this is quite enough. I don't think my Padawan wants to know about her Master's devious youth."

Eero smiled at his friend, "Ha – you're just embarrassed." His gaze went far away suddenly, "I know you hated it when Han would leave, Ben, but selfishly, those were always the happiest times for me. Whenever you would leave again, it was like I was falling back into a bleak reality."

Kylo looked at Eero sympathetically, and Rey felt like she was truly seeing the Ben from Eero's stories.

She noticed that his mind was completely open and exposed. All his barricades had come down and he was focusing entirely on his friend. She resolutely stayed away, allowing him his privacy.

Kylo said nothing, but his face spoke volumes, clearly in a language the Eero could read because he reached across the table, clapping Kylo on the shoulder and shaking him with solidarity.

"It's so good to see you again." Kylo said, finally.

Eero stilled uncomfortably, sitting back in his chair, his face darkening. As his frown faded, Rey saw a different man replace Kylo's old friend, a man whose heart was sorrowful. She could feel waves of anguish ripple off from him and she knew Kylo would have felt the shift too.

"I am sorry it has been so long, my friend." Eero said, finally, his voice shaken and dark. "After my father passed, it was difficult to continue to visit your parents."

Rey felt Kylo stiffen, his stomach drop. She felt him trying to repel the feelings this conversation was rousing. She felt him try to shut out Eero's words, but Eero continued.

"You were away at your training and Aunt Leia- she was so kind to me, but I was too angry; I couldn't accept her kindness. I just wanted to be alone and to be angry at the universe. I pulled away from everyone." Eero looked at his hands as he spoke. "It was a long time after that that I heard that you had run away." He said, lifting his eyes back to meet Kylo's sad gaze. "I am sorry. I was so focused on my own loss, I forgot that my friend might have his own suffering too." He face was full of remorse, "I wish I had been there for you."

Kylo's emotions were bursting. He was struggling to control his conflict: savage rage fought with tormented sorrow. Automatically, Rey reached her hand under the table to rest on his leg; she sent her compassion and empathy to him through their connection. She felt his mind accept her emotions, and then calm.

"There was nothing you could have done." He responded, finally. His voice was despondent but controlled.

Eero nodded, but Kylo's statement did nothing to ease his suffering. "What happened? Why did you run away?"

Kylo stared resolutely at the table, "It's a long story." His voice was dark and harsh; he was not going to expand on his statement. The group shifted uncomfortably at the silence left by his words.

One of Eero's men came over with large bottle of liquor, refilling the group's cups. It broke them from their somber reverie.

Eero's smile slowly returned, "Enough, we must be boring your gorgeous apprentice." He smirked at Rey, taking her hand between his own. "Tell me Rey, how is it that you came to be the Padawan of Ben here?"

She shifted uncomfortably, "Uh, well…" she glanced up to Kylo questioningly. _I don't actually know that works._

He intervened, stating vaguely, "Rey was selected to be my apprentice."

Eero nodded, dropping Rey's hand and leaning forward toward them, "So how does it work? The Padawan/Master relationship? What is required of you both? Ben, we used to talk endlessly about the Force, but, I'm realizing we never really talked about the Jedi."

Kylo nodded, looking to Rey again before lamely stating, "It works like any other partnership, really."

Eero looked skeptical. Rey could sense him reacting in confusion to Kylo's uninspiring description, so to maintain their cover she interjected, "We… uh, we trust each other." She looked up to Kylo and said, "We depend on each other." Kylo tried to hide his surprise upon hearing her words. She continued, "He teaches me, and protects me, and I, uh, try to do the same for him." Kylo was gazing at her, his face blank, but his emotions roiling.

Kylo never lowered his gaze from Rey's, still trying to absorb all she had said. They stared at each other, locked in a deep embrace.

Eero was enthralled by her words, studying the pair intently. "I can see how much you care for one another. It must be an impressive bond that links the two of you."

His words broke them from their trance.

Kylo answered distractedly, mumbling "Yes," as he slowly turned away from Rey.

One of Eero's men came over and collected their cups and plates.

"I am going to put the ship into hibernation mode soon; we will land on Bandoormeer at the end of this sleep cycle."

Eero nodded to his crewmember, "Good. Have you made up the spare quarters for our guests?"  
The man nodded, "Yes sir, but we don't have a cot to spare for one of them."

Kylo and Rey both shifted comfortably.

Kylo quickly interjected, "Rey can have the bed, I can make due with a blanket if you have one to spare."

"I've already put extra blankets in your room." The crewmember responded, nodding to Eero before excusing himself.

Eero rose from the table. "Well, it is time to turn in, we will have work to do in the morning, so if we are in city completing our delivery when you awake, tomorrow, please feel free to roam the city. We won't be leaving again until midday."

Eero lead them down a hall lined with the men's private quarters, stopping at the last one.

He bowed to Rey, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it, "Goodnight, my lovely."

"Thank you for your hospitality, Eero." She smiled, and entered the small private cabin.

Eero paused, taking in the sight of his old friend. "Goodnight Ben,"

Kylo nodded at him, and then stepped forward and hugged him. "Goodnight my friend," Kylo said.

Kylo released Eero, and turned to follow Rey into the small room they were sharing.

As the door closed behind him, Rey felt a stab of discomfort. She and Kylo looked at each other from opposite sides of their tiny room. She saw the same astonishment and confusion reflected on his face that she was feeling herself. They remained still for a long moment, their tension and awkwardness palpable and mounting.

She centered herself, remembering that Rey and Ben, the Padawan and Master, were nothing more than a cover. Now that they were alone again, they were Rey and Kylo Ren, enemies, wielders of the light and the dark respectively, betrayers of each other's trust.

Rey felt her anger and distrust of him return, and turned wordlessly the cabinet, pulling out blankets and pillows for her bed.

Without looking up she said, "Eero is a very charming man."

She felt his feelings stir at her statement, but he was barricading his mind such that she could not quite identify the specific emotion.

She turned back to the room, her arms filled with blankets, and saw Kylo sitting on the edge of the bed, his body slumped over and his head in his hands. He long shaggy hair hung in his face. He looked utterly defeated.

Rey froze, stunned. She slowly and carefully searched the corners of his mind, trying to sense whether he wanted her to leave. Instead of the rage and wrath she expected, she found his mind was buried in sorrows, regrets, and loneliness.

She paused, and then walked over to the bed, putting the blankets and pillows down, and taking a seat directly next to him. He barely noticed her presence, and looked up only after she placed her hand on his leg.

He stared down at her for a minute. She sat so close to him that their sides touched, and her arm overlapped his as her hand patted his thigh. She looked up to him, her face blank and guarded.

"Are you okay?" She asked, detaching any emotion from her voice.

He shook his head, and she noted the way his hair flopped back and forth in the movement. It made her stomach churn warmly, and her mind wandered for a moment.

He stared longingly at her, a well of emotion and distress.

"I'm fine." He said, finally, his voice defeated and tired.

 _Deception,_ she sensed. _He's not okay._

"Kylo, you take the bed tonight." She said gently, lifting herself from the bed and taking two blankets from the pile.

He stood suddenly, and grasped her arm tightly, towering over her in close proximity. "Rey, you take the bed. I'll be fine on the floor."

She went to object and pull her arm from his grasp, but he pulled her closer to him, and leaned down to her face, "Please Rey, let me be strong for just this one moment today."

His face was inches from hers, forlorn and troubled. She was stunned by the honesty of his statement, and pulled away. This time he let her arm go and she backed away from him several steps.

She neglected to argue further, so he grabbed a blanket, and edged away from her at the greatest distance he could manage in the small room, and then lowered himself to the floor. It was a heartbreaking sight for Rey, watching her huge, towering enemy fold himself down into a small lump on the floor. He sat with his back against the wall, and hung his head over his knees, pulling his legs into his chest.

She lowered herself down onto the bed, and pulled the blankets up to her chin. She felt out for him through their connection, skirting the edges of the violent storm that was his current emotional state. She pulled back into herself, wanting to provide him privacy.

She turned over in the bed to study him. His eyes were closed, but his breathing was staggered and ragged.

She quietly said, "You've been incredibly strong today, Kylo."

He lifted his head slowly, his gaze meeting hers through his shaggy hair.

She smiled down at him, her blanket pulled up under her chin.

He nodded at her and thought, _Thanks._

She felt him gently showing her his feelings of appreciation.

 _Goodnight, Kylo._ She thought.

 _Goodnight, Rey._

 **This one has a lot of exposition so it is a little slow (sorry) but I am trying to set things up for a very exciting chapter next time.**

 **Thanks for all the love and comments, friends. It's very encouraging. 3**


	15. The Cantina

After the ordeal she had been through, Rey was entirely grateful for the relaxing morning she spent in Bandor, the capitol city of Bandomeer. She had woken with a start, realizing that Kylo was missing from their room, but quickly noted that she could sense his presence not very far away, and more importantly, she noted that his lightsaber remained clipped to her belt. She was certain he would not leave the planet without it.

She decided to explore the city. The streets of Bandor were a beautiful contradiction of pristine, glistening glass facades and rough, grey stone walls. The ancient stone ruins of the primeval city of Bandor had been left in place, hulking and aged, towering over the narrow and winding streets that crisscrossed the city. Around and between those historic edifices, a contemporary and elegant city had been inserted, funded by the sudden wealth of modern Bandor's industrial markets.

Rey had left Eero's ship and wandered through the streets, taking her time to soak in the strange and mesmerizing scene.

She bought herself new clothes in one of the shops, tossing away her tattered and muddy dress, and in a move that was even more luxurious, she also bought herself admission to a public wash-house, enjoying her first shower since she had been kidnapped from Erys. Though she had lived almost her entire life on Jakku without showers, she had grown accustomed to them during her time on the Resistance base. Once she was done, washed and dressed in fresh clothing, she felt renewed entirely.

She walked out of the shop, and looked down the narrow street when two of Eero's crewmen came walking towards her.

"Madam," the taller one said, bowing low, "Captain Calrisian requests for you to join him at the cantina."

"Thank you, I'll let you lead the way." She replied, smiling and letting the men lead her to the cantina.

As they neared the cantina, she felt Kylo's presence growing closer. She frowned slightly. He had kept his distance from her all day. _Of course he chooses now to show up._ She thought to herself.

The cantina was in an ancient stone cavern. Stone walls and stone arches shaped a large open space in the middle of the cavern and a bar made entirely of glass was set into the center. There was a band up on a large stage that was playing fast-paced music and there were couples dancing nearby.

Eero's men approached the bar where Eero was sitting, enthusiastically chatting with a man in a dark leather jacket. The two were roaring with laughter, Eero slamming his drink down onto the bar, and spilling it slightly in his enthusiasm. Eero's companion reminded Rey briefly of Han, until he turned to the barkeep to order more drinks and she saw his face; it was Kylo. She shuddered. _Of course I could sense him getting closer._ She thought to herself.

Eero turned to greet her, "Ah! Ben's beautiful Padawan has finally come to join us." He said, pulling her into a deep hug and holding her shoulders to look her over. "You look amazing; Bandorian fashion suits you."

She beamed, and gracefully replied, "Thank you, Eero."

Rey tried to move to stand near Eero on the opposite side from Kylo, but Eero steered her closer, placing her between Kylo and himself. In the packed bar she had little room to maneuver, so she stood very close to them, her hip brushing lightly against Kylo when passersby pushed through.

She stiffly acknowledged Kylo, nodding at him curtly. Their eyes met.

 _You do look very nice,_ he said to her through their connection.

She felt herself blush slightly. She shifted uncomfortably and replied, _thanks._

Eero handed her and Kylo each a drink, "You have some serious catching up to do, my dear."

She chuckled and drank from the glass he had handed her. She wasn't certain what it was, but it was a wonderful flavor and had quite a kick. It was strong, she knew that much for certain.

"How did your deliveries go today?" Rey asked.

"Wonderfully!" Eero replied jovially. "We made twice what we were expecting! The markets here are growing so quickly; the money is flowing into and out of this city."

"Lucky for you." Rey replied, a cheeky expression across her face.

"Luck has nothing to do with it," Kylo interjected playfully, "Eero here is a cunning businessman, through and through."

Eero laughed. "I'm a pirate above all else, and don't you forget it, Ben."

Kylo smiled at his friend, and when we turned his gaze to Rey, she felt her breath catch. His smile was intoxicating, and their close proximity was making it harder for her to concentrate.

He seemed to sense her distress, because he narrowed his eyes and smirked down at her, seeming to enjoy her confusion. She felt his hand brush gently against her hip, and she backed away roughly, awkwardly bumping into Eero.

Eero reached out and steadied her. Kylo chuckled.

"So how long until we head to Dantooine?" She asked bluntly, turning away from Kylo. She watched Kylo frown slightly at her question.

Eero finished his drink and ordered another.

"Don't you worry, dear. I'll get you to where you're going." Eero said casually, "We're delayed here another night, and we head to Toprawa in the morning. Until then let's just enjoy!"

Rey frowned, and shifted.

"Oh you just need to relax, my dear." Eero continued jovially, "here," he took her hand and lifted it into the air gracefully, "Would you do me the honor of a dance?" he asked his smile elegant and charming.

Rey relaxed slightly, and grinned. "I would love to, but I don't know how." She responded.

Eero looked shocked, "Well we should remedy that, then!" Pulling gently on her hand, he guided her to where numerous other couples were gathered around dancing merrily.

She looked back briefly, noticing a dark expression on Kylo's face, and noting that his countenance darkened further when Eero slipped his arm around Rey's waist.

She turned away from Kylo as Eero was gently guiding her through the dance floor. When they got to a space he seemed to like, he pulled her closer and began tot move her gently with the music. They spun and swayed and dipped.

At one point she tripped over the foot of another dancer and laughed ardently over her mistake. Eero laughed with her, looking at her with admiration, and steadying her on her feet. He was an amazing dancer, clearly well practiced, and a very good teacher. He led her through some steps, and gently guided her along with him in the rhythm. His skill made up for her lack thereof and they were able to dance along merrily with his direction.

Eero laughed cheerily and continued to teach Rey, showing her to move her hips, and taking her hand to spin her around. Mostly Rey just wiggled around and laughed, but she was enjoying herself nonetheless.

By the end of a few songs she was exhausted. A Twi'lek woman who had been eyeing them as they danced approached Eero moving her hips seductively and reaching for his hands. He hesitated, looking to Rey, but Rey laughed and nodded to him.

"Go. You should dance with her."

Eero smiled and nodded back to Rey,

"Thank you, my dear," He winked at Rey and then turned to follow the Twi'lek woman deeper into the dance floor. Rey watched the two as they danced, Eero's moves instantly far more fast-paced and complicated than they had been when he had danced with Rey.

Rey headed back to the bar, realizing that she had no choice but to return to Kylo, who remained standing where she had left her drink, gloomy and sullen.

She walked over to him, sliding next to him between the crowd of other patrons, and grabbing her drink off the bar top.

He looked down at her, his long shaggy hair falling into his face. "I'm glad to see there is at least one thing in this universe that you are not naturally gifted at," He said, his voice low and gruff and his expression coy.

Rey turned to him, flashing pretend anger in her eyes and feigning insult, "Are you saying I'm not good at dancing?"

He narrowed his eyes and lowered his face down to hers, his expression devious and roguish, "As I've always told you: you need a teacher." He eyes were piercing and raw looking at her as though she were the only person in the room.

She laughed, but her stomach dropped. His comment reminded her of their battle on Starkiller base; it reminded her that they were still enemies.

When she spoke next, her voice was colder and detached, "So what's your plan then?"

He stiffened slightly, noting her change in attitude. He finished his drink and ordered another before turning to her, "What do you mean?"

She sipped her drink and continued, "You didn't steal back your saber this morning. And I'm certain that someone in this city would have taken you back the Order if you had named the right price."

Kylo shifted as she spoke, diverting his gaze back to his drink.

Rey continued, "So what's your plan?"

"I don't have a plan." He said quietly, still not looking at her.

She tugged at his mind, searching around the edges for his thoughts.

He turned to her, looking directly into her face, "I really don't."

She rolled her eyes, "Somehow I don't believe that." She tugged harder on his mind, and she felt his annoyance flare.

"Seriously Rey, I just…" he paused, "I just wanted to be Ben… for one day."

Rey froze at his words, and look up at him.

"Seeing Eero again, it's… well…" Kylo looked away for a moment, "… It's good to see him again, and yes, I could have done a variety of things get away from you today, but… " He voice grew gloomy, "once I walk away from this, he will find out who I am now, what I've done. He will realize his friend is gone, so for now… I just wanted to be Ben."

Rey struggled to find any words for response. She had never heard him say his birth name; she had never heard him sound so regretful. She never imagined that he might have doubts about the things he had done.

Rey studied him again. He was wearing black pants and high brown boots, his shirt was a navy blue color, and he had neglected to button the top two buttons, so his muscular chest was just visible at the top. He had taken off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. The resemblance to Han was uncanny. She understood how she had made the mistake when she first came in. _Is this what Ben would have looked like?_ She wondered.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Eero, who returned to them with his Twi'lek dance partner in tow.

"We needed a drink!" he said exuberantly.

He collected their drinks and turned to follow the Twi'lek back to the dance floor before he paused, looking at them, "come join us you two!"

Rey shifted uncomfortably, "No… we uh…"

Eero handed the drinks to his companion and then reached for her and Kylo, "No, come on! You two need to lighten up. Ben, you are a failure as a Master if you can't teach your Padawan how to dance."

Eero was pulling them both forcefully along.

Rey didn't know what to do, she continued to resist, but when Kylo relented and followed after Eero, she had no choice but to follow along as well. Eero immediately disappeared into the crowd with the Twi'lek, leaving Kylo and Rey awkwardly standing in the middle of the crowd of dancing couples.

Suddenly, Kylo reached his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him. She reacted stiffly, her body rigid and tense under his touch.

He whispered into her ear, "You might try to pretend that you are not repulsed by me, if you want him to continue to believe our story."

She sensed embarrassment and awkwardness seeping from him. She realized her behavior was certainly suspicious in the context of their lie.

She reached her hands up to his chest, and let her body relax into his. The music was much slower than it had been when she had danced with Eero. It was easier for her to keep time with the rhythm, and Kylo was guiding her more forcefully than Eero had. At first she was annoyed at his pushy dancing style, but she began to relax and was able to enjoy herself. His demanding style meant she could let him lead and just enjoy herself and enjoy the music.

Their close proximity seemed to cause The Force within her to grow and hum appreciatively. She felt her strength concentrating, her focus sharpening. She could feel his power, too, mingling and swirling with her own. She could feel his heartbeat as if it were in her own chest, and his breathes as if they were filling her own lungs. Her hands tingled where they touched his chest, and when she bumped against him in their slow dance, she felt the warm tingling sensation crawl up her spine thrillingly.

She looked up at him. He seemed to be equally as overwhelmed by their proximity. He smiled, and she could feel that he was enjoying himself, that he was savoring their dance.

 _This is crazy,_ she thought to herself, though she felt sure he had overheard.

 _You never expected to have me as a dance partner, Rey?_ He asked, throwing her his characteristic smirk, and running his hand up her back teasingly.

She wiggled away, but laughed, grabbing his arm and forcing it back down to her waist.

 _Not exactly._ She replied. She gazed up at him, feeling as though she both knew him very well and not at all.

"I'm not repulsed by you." She said quietly but out loud. The switch from their mental communication made her statement feel strangely formal.

He looked down at her and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"I'm actually growing somewhat fond of Ben." She said, carefully tip-toeing the line between cheeky and taunting.

He tensed at first, but slowly regained his composure and after pausing for a long moment he retorted darkly, "I think that you have been growing fond of _Ren_ for far longer." He looked down at her intensely. She could feel his heartbeat quicken. They were approaching a subject she had tried to avoid – the door he had warned her about opening.

The song ended and couples nearby began to separate.

"I am _not_ growing fond of Ren."She spat, turning away from Kylo and walking back to the bar.

He pushed through the crowd and caught up to her, grabbing her arm, and spinning her to face him, "Oh really? Than why did you offer yourself up to Hux?"

She glared up into his face and yanked her arm away from him, "Get away from me"

He followed after her, "then why did you ask me to run away with you?"

She stormed away from him, and headed for the door of the cantina, wrenching it open and walking into the warm evening breeze.

She stormed out of the cantina and walked down the street and until she came to an alcove that would afford her some privacy.

An ancient stone arch reached over her head, reaching its peak less than a meter above her head. The two walls supporting the arch were barely two meters apart. It was a tight space, but it had a view over the city on the opposite side that she entered.

Rey leaned against the stone wall and gazed out the balcony, watching the shimmering lights of Bandor. The sunsets over Bandormeer were distorted by the pollution from the industrial planets, making the sky an iridescent green and blue haze.

She hugged her arms to herself, and felt Kylo's presence approaching behind her. He entered the alcove slowly. The top of his head was only inches from the top of the arch. It annoyed her to see his towering height in the space.

 _How is he so impossibly tall?_ She thought to herself.

"You're just short," He said softly, facing her and smirking. He stood close but did not crowd her.

"Don't do this, Kylo." She said, her voice defeated and tired.

"Rey, we can't keep ignoring that there is-" His voice sounded exacerbated. He ran his hand through his hair, annoyed at her.

"We have to!" She said, her voice rising in desperation. Then more quietly she said, "We have to ignore it."

He paused and pulled back, shaking his head and looking at the ground. He turned to head back to the cantina, and she sighed in relief. He took two steps, and with each step she felt her stomach fall sadly.

After a few steps, he paused, and she lifted her head to look toward him. He remained still, his huge body framed in the outline of the tiny alcove.

He turned back to her, his expression stern and determined. "I can't ignore this anymore." He said roughly, his voice gruff and guttural.

He rushed back to her and grabbed her waist, pulling her against his body. He took his hand and cupped her face, pulling her up to him. Suddenly his lips were on hers, kissing her ardently. She felt him pulling her against his body, his hands on her back and her neck.

She hesitated for only a moment, before her hands rushed up to his shirt, gripping it to pull him down to her, and deepening their kiss.

She felt the world spinning around her. Every desire she had buried away came rushing to the surface of her heart. She wanted him, she wanted to be near him, she wanted to be on him.

She could feel his shock at her response, as well as his relief and pleasure. She could feel his stomach clench at the feeling of her lips on his.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer. She stood on her toes to reach him. Her lips moved against his, her tongue reaching tentatively into his mouth.

He groaned deeply and opened his mouth to admit her tongue, reciprocating with his own tongue along her lips.

Her heart raced, and she could feel his pulse quicken too. She grabbed at him, pulling at his clothes in her attempt to pull herself as close to him as she could.

They fell back against the wall, grasping briefly for breath and he gripped her tightly at her waist to shift her up, his other arm wrapping powerfully around her back.

Leaning against the wall of the alcove, she reached her hands up to his face, and ran her hands through his hair.

He sighed against her lips, his desire and pleasure radiating from him and into her.

They broke away for a moment, their bodies still intertwined, but their faces inches apart. They stared at each other, shock, excitement, and terror mingling in their minds and across their connection.

He reached down to stroke her face, his large hand gentle and kind in its caress.

She gasped at his touch, her thoughts morphing suddenly from joy to anxiety. He felt her begin to withdraw, to panic. He heard her think, _What was I thinking?_

He tried to calm her. He reached down to shoulder, running his hands down her arm.

"Rey" He said softly, saying her name with veneration and reverence.

Suddenly the ground under them shook and they heard explosions in the distance followed by terrified screams. The sound was deafening.

Kylo reached out with the Force to sense the source of the disruption. _The cantina._

He expression fell, panicked. "Eero!"

Kylo pulled his lightsaber from Rey's belt, yanking it roughly from her and ran full speed back towards the cantina.


	16. Bandomeer Falls

Kylo sprinted back to the cantina, pulling on The Force to give him strength and speed. His heart raced with panic for his friend. He had just found Eero again, and Kylo was not ready to lose him.

The crowd in the street was panicking, people scattering in all directions. Kylo crashed into people, shoving them aside and leaping over overturned carts in his rushed attempt to get back to the cantina. He could hear laserfire erupting in all directions, the city exploding into a violent anarchy, but he ignored all of it in his determination to find Eero.

He turned a corner and jumped into the cantina, slamming the large wooden door to the wall and pushing forcefully into the space. He found a full gunfight underway within the bar. Bandorian police were lined up at the back of the room, their tall glass shields raised, and their organized ranks firing endlessly at a group barricaded behind overturned tables at the front of the bar. Kylo saw Eero and a few others, crouched behind a wooden table, periodically ducking around side to fire shots at the approaching police line.

Kylo ignited his firey red saber, drawing the attention of all in the room, and raised it aggressively over his head. It hissed and crackled menacingly. Kylo said nothing, his face unmoving and full of rage, as he glared darkly at the police line.

The police hesitated briefly, their laserfire calming for a spell. Kylo spun his saber over his right shoulder, then his left, widening his stance in preparation for his attack. He rushed to the police, who resumed their onslaught, directing it now at him.

Eero and the men with him also resumed their fighting, using Kylo's distraction of the police brigade as an opportunity to regain ground in their fight. Kylo cut through the police easily, deflecting their laserfire, slicing through their shields, and crushing their throats with The Force.

He felt Rey approaching, her force signature growing closer with each passing moment.

Eero rushed to his side, firing a final blaster shot into a fallen police officer who was reaching for his blaster. Kylo un-ignited his saber and stored it on his belt.

Eero patted Kylo's shoulder, "Thank you, Ben. I owe you one."

Kylo nodded solemnly. They were safe for now, but he could sense violence and horror all across the city.

"Did they explain why they attacked?" He asked Eero.

Several of the fighters with Eero were collecting the weapons from the fallen police, kicking them lighting to make sure they were dead.

Eero nodded gravely, "The planet's government has fallen to the First Order. The police were ordered to round up all Resistance sympathizers, which includes me and my crew."

Kylo's stomach clenched, a dark sense of foreboding seeping through him. _Not good._ He thought.

Rey rushed into the cantina, joining him and Eero at the center of the bar, and surveying the destruction.

"We have to get out of here" she said, her words rushed and her breaths shallow. She turned to face them both, "The city has fallen to the First Order."

She faced Eero with an expression of urgency, but when she turned to Kyo, her gaze softened slightly, lingering on him for a long moment. Her mental barricades were up against him. He felt his pulse quicken at the sight of her, his mind momentarily clouded to the urgency of their situation by her sudden appearance.

Eero turned quickly back to the front door raising his blaster, as Rey raised her lighstaber facing the back of the room. Kylo turned to see a sea of stromtroopers flooding into the room, flanking them on all sides.

 _There are too many_. He thought to her, afraid she would attempt to fight her way out. He could feel her throw determination and confidence at him across their bond, clearly brushing aside his warning.

 _Eero._ He thought at her again, _We could fight our way out, yes, but what about Eero - we have to protect him._

She turned to him, her expression curious and soft. She frowned, hesitating, but then turned off her saber, lowering it to the ground and raising her hands over her head. Eero expression was surprised, but he followed her lead, dropping his weapon and raising his hands up slowly.

In a quick, clandestine movement, Kylo shoved his own saber to the back of his belt, hiding it within the folds of his heavy jacket. The troopers seemed to have missed his action.

The stormtroopers rushed forward, snatching up the weapons from the ground . Two troopers flanked Rey. One punched her in the stomach, causing her to collapse slightly inward and gasp for breath. Kylo could feel the ripple of the troopers punch across their bond, and it made his skin crawl with rage. The second trooper grabbed Rey's arms and roughly bound them behind her back.

As the trooper forcefully cuffed her wrist, Rey's gaze met Kylo's. His stomach fell at the sight of her worried face.

The troopers bound the other fighters in the room, throwing handcuffs around himself, Eero and the rest.

The trooper lieutenant motioned to his men to move out, and they were led out of the cantina and out into the bloodstained streets of Bandor.

Kylo heard the lieutenant tell another trooper, "Bring this Resistance scum to Captain Mitaka."

Kylo and Eero were locked together in a cell. There was a large window with thick metal bars. The window faced into a larger holding room, and from it, Kylo and Eero could see all that was happening to Rey.

Kylo watched with uncontrollable fear and anger as Mitaka paced menacingly in front of Rey who was tied to pipe on the back wall, her hands still bound behind her back. She kept her chin high, maintaining a brave and confident expression as Mitaka studied her.

Captain Mitaka stopped in front of her saying quietly, "We know who you are, _Miss Kenobi."_

She glared back stating icily, "It's Major General Kenobi, _sir_."

He nodded, his dark expression unchanged. "That's a hefty title for a scavenger," he spoke the last word with disgust.

Rey said nothing, her expression proud.

"Tell us what you did with Kylo Ren." He said, finally, his angry voice cutting through the room.

Kylo watched Rey's mouth twitch imperceptibly. She maintained her gaze with Mitaka, avoiding looking back to Kylo. She said nothing.

Eero turned to him, "Kylo Ren?"

Kylo never took his eyes of Rey, and avoided Eero's question.

Mitaka moved closer to Rey, Kylo's blood pumping faster with every step.

"We know you took him. We know you know where he is." Mitaka's voice was steady and cold.

Rey remained steadfast, staring Mitaka down and maintaining her silence.

Eero pushed against Kylo again, "Ben, you two took down Kylo Ren?"

Kylo turned to Eero. He had no idea what to say.

Eero's hands were bound, but Kylo saw his instinctively reach for him, before bumping against the resistance of his handcuffs. Eero looked frustrated, and then stepped closer to Kylo, his expression changing to sincere concern.

"I didn't know how to bring it up, Ben, but I did hear about Han. I am so sorry."

Kylo heart pounded in his chest. He was furious with Mitaka, worried for Rey, and now struggling to address Eero's words. He was losing control of his anger.

His voice was rough and abrasive when he spoke, "Now's really not the time, Eero."

"I know its not, Ben. But I may not get another chance. I'm sorry about Han, and whatever you and Rey did to that murdering monster, it was deserved."

Suddenly a scream broke their attention back to Rey. Mitaka had a torture droid hovering over her. The droid had a long blade with which it was piercing the skin of her arm, slowly tearing a rough and uneven cut down her upper arm to her elbow.

After her initial scream, Rey tried to regain control and to ignore her pain.

Kylo saw her taking deep slow breaths as the droid continued its slow slicing of her arm. As it neared her elbow, Kylo watched Rey lose her control briefly, a slight whimper escaping her lips. The sound haunted him, echoing in his brain and causing his rage to grow. He was on the brink of losing control. He wanted to destroy something, anything, everything. He wanted to burn the entire place down. His breathing became ragged and short.

Eero turned his attention back to Kylo. "Ben, what are we going to do?"

Kylo shifted uncomfortably, his gaze never leaving Rey.

The droid hovered back. Rey's arm was dripping blood onto the floor in a stead flow. Kylo heard each droplet as it hit the floor, loud and echoing in his brain.

Mitaka moved back to Rey, who was breathing heavily, her brow sweating slightly.

"Just tell us where he is, Rey." Mitaka said, softly at first.

"I shoved him out an airlock." Rey spat aggressively.

Mitaka sighed, "Wrong answer."

He rushed forward, gripping her bleeding arm and roughly pressing his fingers into her wound. As she screamed in pain, he yelled, "We know he is alive, Rey! Tell us what you did with him!"

Rey continued to scream, the pain blinding her entirely. Mitaka finally released her arm, and moved his face close into hers, asking quietly, "Where is he, Rey?"

She pressed her lips tightly together, and raised her head to glare into Mitaka's face, "He's in the belly of a bantha."

Mitaka stuck her across the face, blood spilling from her mouth. He grabbed her face roughly, "WHERE IS HE?!" He yelled.

She spat the blood from her mouth into Mitaka's face.

He pulled away from her roughly, wiping his face of her blood. She used the momentary reprieve to spit more blood out onto the floor next to her. When she raised her head again, her gaze met Kylo's.

His face was anguished and disturbed. She sensed his boiling rage. She tried to reach out to him to tell him that she was okay, but the violent storm of his mind was impenetrable.

Mitaka came back to her with a taser in his hand. She pressed herself back against the pipe, trying to gain any distance she could manage between herself and Mitaka. He stalked closer to her, slowly moving with agonizing steps.

He suddenly shoved the taser roughly into her stomach, causing her to scream out in pain.

Kylo kicked the wall and yelled, "Leave her alone!" Eero growled in anger next to him, straining against his binders.

Mitaka and the other stromtroopers ignored them.

Mitaka pulled the taser away from Rey, and Kylo watched her slump forward, her body supported only by the binders that tied her to the pipe. Her knees had given out and her head wilted heavily onto her chest. Kylo's pulse raced.

"Get away from her!" He yelled again.

Mitaka turned back nonchalantly, "Don't worry, you can be next." He turned his gaze back to Rey and said softly, "After I kill her." He stepped toward her again, the taser in his hand.

Kylo lost all control, reaching out with all his strength for The Force. He roughly broke his binders apart, snapping them in the middle. He grabbed his saber and roughly cut through the wall of the cell that held him. He used the force to pull Mitaka roughly into his right hand, Mitaka sailing across the room through the air. Kylo ignited his saber and glared into Mitaka's face.

"I am Kylo Ren!" He yelled, and the room froze. The troopers who was raised their blasters towards him remained still and did not fire.

Rey was the only thing in the whole room that moved; she lifted her head slowly, and whispered, "No."

Kylo dropped Mitaka who crumpled to the floor, alive but in pain.

He turned to the stormtroopers next to him and ordered "Put the prisoners aboard a transport ship and await further instruction from me. Take no orders from anyone other than myself." The troopers nodded and moved to Rey and Eero.

Rey allowed herself to be untied from the pipe, and escorted from the room without taking another glance at him.

Eero, however, maintained a fixed stare on Kylo. As the troopers roughly grabbed him and dragged him from the cell, he gaped steadily at Kylo, his shocked and disgusted expression permanently printed upon his face, until the troopers pushed him entirely out of the room and out of Kylo's field of vision.


	17. Kylo's Confession

Rey and Eero were led to a ship not far from where they had been held by Mitaka and his soldiers. They said nothing to each other along their walk, both staring darkly at the ground, each lost in their own desolate musings.

Rey could sense a deep and profound sadness emanating from Eero. She wasn't certain whether he truly understood all the implications of what had just transpired, though the depth of his misery suggested that he understood better than she may have previously suspected.

Of course he would know the name "Kylo Ren" - he would know it was the name of a fearsome man coated with violence, destruction, and evil - but would he have heard _all_ the deeds associated with that moniker? Would he know the worst of it? Would he understand what had happened to his friend, Ben?

Rey shuddered to think about the man named "Ben". Ben was a man she had told Kylo she had come to like. She had said it to tease him, to provoke him to anger, perhaps, but when she had kissed him, she hadn't drawn any distinctions. She hadn't cared what name he went by – she just wanted _him._

The stormtroopers continued to push Rey and Eero roughly through the devastated streets. The previously bustling city of Bandor now seemed all but deserted. Rey could sense countless life forms in all directions, but she also sensed their oppressive fear and despair; those who had survived the upheaval of their government must have chosen to hide, to try to wait for the outbreak of violence that had swept their home to subside. She wondered what would happen to them once they were all found. _Will the troopers kill them?_ Her stomach fell. _Will Kylo kill them?_

When they reached a small ship, Rey and Eero were both shoved roughly inside, the door slamming shut behind them and locking in place with a hiss. Their hands remained cuffed behind their backs.

Rey moved quickly over the dash, reviewing the components of the ship and trying to ascertain the nature of the operating system. She paused when she noted the unnatural stillness of her companion on board.

She turned to Eero, studying his haunted expression and his slumped shoulders. His troubled face was that of a truly broken man. She stepped away from the ship's dash and moved towards him.

"You okay?" she asked quietly, her gentle voice echoing in the small cabin.

He continued to avoid meeting her gaze, maintaining a fixed stare to the floor. He said nothing for a long moment, then finally said, "No," his voice hollow and cold.

Rey frowned, and shifted uncomfortably. She remained still, standing next to him uneasily. She wanted to comfort him, to say something kind, but she had no comfort to offer him. She would have given that comfort to herself if she had known where to find it.

Abruptly, he spoke again, louder and angrier this time, "Kylo Ren killed Han Solo." His voice shook at the word " _killed."_

Rey swallowed and pursed her lips. Her heart sank. She hadn't realized it, but she had been hoping that he had missed this piece of the tragic puzzle that was Kylo and Ben. Perhaps she wanted to live vicariously through his ignorance, to remember what it was like to not know the man who had killed Han Solo, to not know what it felt like to care for that man.

Long ago it had been so easy to hate that man, to hate the murderer, but everything had gotten so muddled since then; everything was confused.

She took a long deep breath and said, "Yes. He did."

Eero raised his face, meeting her gaze. "You sick-" he shook his head looking for a word repellent enough to describe what he thought of her but when he failed to find one he continued on, "You're with that disgusting monster?!"

"No," Her voice was soft and shaky. "No. I- … I had captured him. I was trying to bring him back to the Resistance-"

Eero scoffed loudly, "The Resistance?! That sick bastard needs to be put down. You could have done it a hundred times in the past two days! You could have rid the universe of that evil disgusting murderer! All the blood he spills now will be on _your_ hands! What were you thinking?"

Rey looked at Eero in desperation. She wanted to reject his words, to push away all he said, but she knew what he said was true. She had scolded herself with the same thoughts a hundred times in the past days.

"I know." Her voice cracked, "I know but I… It's not that simple, Eero." She said lamely, she lowered her gaze to the floor, shame creeping up her back.

When she raised her face back to him, Eero was looking at her with the same expression of disgust he had thrown at Kylo. "You have feelings for him?"

Rey shifted and looked away. "Eero, what about _Ben_? I know you have feelings for Ben!"

He rolled his eyes, "Ben? Ben is gone, Rey, and you're a fool if you don't realize that. Kylo Ren may wear his face, but Ben is dead."

Rey rushed to him, "But what if Ben _isn't_ gone, Eero?"

Eero sneered scornfully and paced away from her, "Of _course,_ Ben is gone! Ben was my friend – he was my _best_ friend. Ben would not have killed his own _father_! He wouldn't have done any of this! That monster is _not_ Ben."

Rey's face fell. She agreed with everything he said, and yet a part of her wanted to believe that it was more complicated than he made it seem.

Suddenly the door behind them slid open, and Kylo walked in, surveying Rey and Eero.

Eero immediately lunged at him, throwing Kylo back against the wall with all his strength.

Rey could feel Kylo's heart breaking. Eero had him pinned against the wall of the ship and was kneeing him repeatedly in the stomach. With his hands bound, Eero's ability to commit any act of violence was limited, but Kylo was submitting entirely to Eero's onslaught, barely even raising his arms to protect himself against Eero's blows, which made it easier for Eero to assault him despite his bindings. He kicked Kylo in the leg, and shouldered him roughly against the wall.

Rey hung back at first, hoping for Eero to stop of his own accord, but his blows continued so mercilessly that Rey rushed forward, trying as best as she could to separate them which was difficult without the use of her hands. Finally she gave up on getting between them, and used the force to hold Eero back. He glared at her venomously, his face animalistic in its rage.

Kylo slowly lifted himself from the floor, his face bloodied, his stomach aching. He slowly wiped the blood from his mouth, and faced Eero.

"Eero, I-" He began.

Eero glared hatefully at him and yelled, "Don't!"

Kylo paused, his eyes full of sadness.

"You killed Han and you killed my best friend. I hate you." Eero continued to glare furiously at Kylo.

Kylo said quietly, "I understand." With a quick flick of his wrist, he undid Eero's binders with The Force. "The ship is stocked and fueled, and I've given all my men all its identification – they have been ordered to allow it to leave the system, unharmed."

Eero glared at Kylo, and then turned on his heel and left the room, following the corridor in the back to the deeper regions of the ship.

Kylo turned to Rey, his face forlorn and pained. The room felt constricted and hot, their sudden solitude creating an electric current through the space.

Rey shrugged her shoulders to indicate to her own binders and raised her eyebrows at Kylo, "If you don't mind?"

He hesitated and looked skeptically at her.

"I'm letting you go, Rey. I just ask that you let me go too."

She furrowed her brows, and looked up to him questioningly, "What do you mean?"

He moved to her, and gently tucked a section of her hair behind her ear. The tender gesture tugged at her heart, arousing emotions she feared she could not control. She could have stepped away from him, but she remained in place, their chests inches apart.

"I could never convince you to join me, Rey, I know that." His deep voice was steady and flat, but beneath his controlled façade, she could sense that he was struggling desperately to control emotions that were spiraling quickly in to a chaotic jumble.

"But I am done fighting you. I could never hurt you." He continued, gazing at her adoringly. "So all I can do, is let you go."

She opened her mouth to object when he cut her off, "And I will keep the location of the Resistance Base a secret, I promise."

She closed her mouth, nodded, and then said. "Ren, please you _must_ absolutely promise that under no circumstances-"

"Rey, I could never betray you again. Not after…" he paused, and continued, "The First Order may learn the location, but that information will never come from me, I swear it to you." He looked intensely into her eyes, "I couldn't do that to you."

They stood together for a long and uneasy moment, desire and sadness brewing dangerously within them both.

Finally she broke the silence, asking him a familiar question: "Come with me." Her voice was imploring and strong. "You said you didn't want to ignore this anymore? Well good. Then don't. Come with me!" Her eyes were wide and bright, her face full and beautiful.

His pained expression deepened, and he reached for her, cupping her face and stroking her cheek gently with his thumb. "I'm not Ben, Rey. I mean it when I say that boy is dead, and the possibility of a life… like this… that died too."

"No!" Rey's expression was fierce, "I refuse to believe that. Ben, Ren: it doesn't matter. You can be either – hell you can be both for all I care! Just come with me, please."

"Rey I can't." He said sadly.

With her hands still cuffed behind her back, Rey stepped closer to him, reaching her face up to his. He watched her with wide eyes as she raised herself onto her toes in order to reach him, kissing his lips with hers.

He hesitated at first, desperately trying to barricade his emotions away, but with her gentle kiss, he felt his dams breaking.

He gave in, deepening their kiss and pulling her against him roughly. He ran his hand through her hair, and traced his other down her back, pulling her close. Her lips moved against his, her tongue brushing against his lips. He groaned deeply, and pulled his arms tighter around her, her chest pressed up against his.

He felt her struggle against her binders; she wanted to reach out for him, and touch him, but was inhibited by the cuffs.

He undid her binders with The Force, barely noticing as they clanked to the floor behind her. Her hands were suddenly on him, her arms wrapping around his neck pulling him down to press his body against hers.

She moaned against his lips, sending a wave of intense desire through his body.

She stroked his neck, and tugged at his shirt. He felt their hips press together, sending a shiver down his back and into his core. He never wanted to stop touching her.

She pulled away from him slowly, gazing up at him lovingly. She stroked his hair, smiling to herself as she admired his handsome face.

He smiled back at her. He didn't know it was possible to feel so immensely blissful and also so despairingly sad together in the same moment.

"I love you, Rey." He said suddenly.

She looked up at him, her expression adoring and heartbroken. "I know." She said quietly, pressing her hand against his temple. Suddenly his world went black, and he crumpled to the floor, unconscious.

Rey gasped heavily, recovering from the flurry of emotions that were swirling through her body.

She knew she had to move quickly. She picked up her fallen binders from the floor, and locked them into place around Kylo's wrist. She removed his lightsaber, tucking it into her belt, and then searched through the pockets of his jacket to find her own lightsaber. Once she had found it, she clipped it onto her belt next to his.

She dragged him to the back of the ship, calling Eero's discarded binders to her hand and using them to tie Kylo the back wall of the ship.

 _Does nothing ever change?_ She thought to herself sardonically, a deep sense of déjà vu tickling at the back of her neck.

She rushed back to the controls, and studied the ship.

"Eero! Get up here!" she hollered.

He rushed back into the room, shouting, "Rey? You okay? What is that bastard-" but as he survey the room he stopped. His gaze fell on Kylo's crumpled form. "No. No. No." He repeated. "Rey are you crazy?!"

Rey ignored him, "Punch the coordinates for Dantooine into the navicomputer." She ordered, pointing at a screen near where he stood.

"No, Rey. No. We're leaving him behind."

She turned on him, her eyes wild with anger, her expression livid, "We are bringing him back to the Resistance!"

"Rey he is not-"

Rey cut him off, "Eero Calrissian, you will help me fly this ship to Dantooine or I will leave you here!"

Eero hesitated for a moment longer and then turned to the navi-computer, entering the coordinates.

Rey sighed gratefully and sat in the pilot's seat to navigate them off the planet so they could make the jump to lightspeed.

 **Hey everyone - thanks as always for the kind words and comments! I love hearing your feedback. I hope you like this chapter. I have really enjoyed writing this one. Much love to you all. :)**


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